I was going to make my 200th post a huge procession… but it was taking too long. The game was on yesterday. And I can smell the spring. So I figure let’s just make it simple.
For my 200th post I want to keep the fundamentals of this blog in line…
1. A stolen picture
2. Facial Hair
3. Spring Training baseball
Well Fan Fest happened. Out here in Brooklyn I am still slipping on snow when I go running. But It was like this last year so I’m not worrying. Spring is peeking through with three consecutive days with the temp over 40 degrees which is practically a holiday over here. Women strut around in tights and low cut tops and guys walk around in only two layers trying to show-up the weather gods before they usher another month of snow in to cover our false spring.
With the dependable, yet questionable practice of counting down to pitchers and catchers starts. We have to rely on our creativity to write posts that will not bore. So without further ado…. let’s have our first installment of what will hopefully become a years worth of posts about Facial Hair Growth on the San Francisco Giants.
Top Three Facial Hair Moves and Transactions.
#1. Lincecum Mustache.
In a stunning turn of events Tim Lincecum has decided to throw his hat in the ring for most pubescent looking mustache in the Majors. I highly applaude this move since I am a major proponent of Mustaches over beards. Lincecum looked pretty dapper in a short interview the day before Fan Fest and would not look out of place in a Brooklyn bar.
Personally I am hoping that Timmy can get a John Waters stache going.
#2. Sergio Romo and Brian Wilson have kept their beards.
Let it be known that Brian Wilson WILL be rocking a mustache at some point in his career, it’s just the next logical move. Not to say that his beard is not manly, it does it’s job well, hiding the fact that he still only has 2 jokes in his joke barn.
Sorry about stealing this twitpic… thanks to who it was… I forgot.
But we love him and his beard, and the fact that he and Sergio have wintered their beards makes me happy. I’m trying to think what is more distracting….. a guy throwing a ball at me at 90+ mph with a black pirate beard or a guy wearing orange shoes……. ya… STFU league.
#3. Madison Bumgarner tames his hick beard.
From this…….
To this…….
Not much of a difference. But with a lack of other facial hair alteration…. I gotta go with this as #3.
As rules of this blog have it, I must give equal time to the patron saint of future Giants facial hair and all around inspiration to this blog with his (former) flaming red mustache…. Jason Stoffel…. Here is an interview with him.
Stoffel seems to not be taking his career as a mustached closer seriously enough. Come on Jason!!!!! There are enough chin growths in major league bullpens! We need more lip sweaters, it’s the only way you are gonna make it. Let’s try THIS look again.
Future Facial Hair-olator.
I think our best bet for a good old-timey mustache is Madison Bumgarner. Only a guy who deals in livestock and lives in the tiny town of Lenoir, NC could rock a true mustache.
Side note…. while looking up Bumgarner’s hometown I found that another Bumgarner came from that same home town…. Justin Bumgarner…. Who is a MMA Fighter, (bottom of the page) I wonder if they are related?
YES!!!! Romo’s Lip Sweater is back! Unfortunately it has to share real estate with that terrible soul patch, but it’s an improvement.
and on we go…. with a special edition where we talk about two different people
Sergio Romo (w/mustache)
How will he do this year (if he grows the mustache back)?
While consistently posting a strikeout rate higher than his inning total, Romo is essentially a ROOGY and no that’s not short for Japanese Left handed specialist….. That is basically a right handed specialist. Although he is not used in this manner, his splits say that he should be. 2.21 ERA, 26k’s, vs Righties, 6.56 ERA, 15k’s vs Lefties. While his back breaking curve should keep getting him into games to set up Affeldt. One thing that Romo does not have to worry about is carrying the NOOB backpack anymore since Runzler will probably be in the bullpen this year. I predict another solid year from Romo, of course this all depends on him growing back his mustache.
Do I like the guy (if he grows the mustache back)?
Oh hells yes!
Would I hang out with him (if he grows the mustache back)?
again…. oh hells yes! we would sit around drinking blue slurpees playing SNES and sneak out at night to put Bologna on our neighbors car in the pattern of a huge penis.
Will he be an essential part of the 2010 Giants?
If he grows his mustache back.
……………and now for part 2……………….
Sergio Romo (with terrible BRC soul patch)
How will he do this year (with a horrible AO soul patch)?
TERRIBLE. seriously shave that shit!
Do I like the guy (with a crusty KC poop patch)
Ahhh Hells no!!!
Would I hang out with him (and his disgusting JW dirt patch)
Ahhh Hells no!!!
Will he be an essential part of the 2010 Giants
Not if he keeps his distasteful CG spilled bbq sauce patch
Seriously Romo, we love you but be a man, stop thinking you are going to look TOO mexican if you grow your awesome stache back! Embrace your ability to rock a lip sweater….
