Giants Midnight Replay

Last Week In Giants

High light of the game (and possibly the week)

To say that the only Giants game that I will be able to see at AT&T this year was a downer is a huge understatement. Here are the facts. 

1. We lost

2. It was damn cold (I forgot how cold SF gets… yes I’m an idiot).

3. I had standing room only tickets

4. EVERYONE was there early. Gone are the days where I would show up 2 hours early and was almost guaranteed to be able to catch a BP ball. Oh well, for better or worse… right?

5. I had just had my car impounded for parking on Mission street during rush hour (FUCKSHITDAMNFUCKING $475 later I got my car back!!!!)

The best seat in the house.

If you buy standing room only. 

So ya, I enjoyed coming home, I enjoyed being at AT&T again. But I am much more looking forward to the Giants Vs Mets game at CITI Field where I have seats 17 rows behind the Giants dugout. And tickets are only $30 because the Mets are TERRIBLE. 

But enough about me. Let’s talk about what the Giants are up to. 

I’m just going to go through a couple of players and spout what I have been thinking about. 

Fontenot

Can I get an amen? If given playing time I feel like Fontenot represents more runs saved on defense and more runs created on offense than Tejada. I know I am echoing someone but I get nervous every time the ball is hit to SS. 

Pat Burrell

I want this guy in the lineup every day. Sure he makes a lot of outs, but he always takes at least 4 pitches. One of the shining examples of how to take an at bat. 

Aaron Rowand

From now on I will probably not mention how garbage Rowand was. For Rowand we are going to have to put blinders on. I don’t remember what happened to Rowand last year… do you? All I know is there is some dude who looks like he sits on a toilet when he swings and he is saving our ass, game in and game out. 

Darren Ford

…..Has more World Series Rings than Major league hits, and he totally deserves it. 

2011 All Stars

1. Posey

2. Pablo

3. Timmy

4. Either Cain… or Wilson… not sure which one yet. 

The Dog House. 

1. Tejada (told you so)

2. Huff, but it’s not entirely his fault, he is hitting it into the defense a lot of the time. 

3. Ross,….. is he playing for his job now? maybe. 

4. The rotation, I know… I love them too, but they need to start getting deep into games or our bullpen will be all used up at the end of the season. My recommendation is to get Kroon, and Edelfson up here to help out for a while, drop Burriss and carry an extra reliever to keep the pressure off. 

Last thing…

I see this sign every time I go to the park…. and I wonder… how the hell is a ball (or a freaking bat!) going to get back to the last row of the last section before the arcade, about 20 rows under the overhang and still be “flying”?

This is How to Lose at Baseball

This whole game wasn’t a total loss. There were some sweet moments. The only one I remember was Uribe crying when he got his ring. Which was a nice moment for him and the fans. But you have to think about this…. does Uribe get this moment if Stow doesn’t get beat up in the parking lot of Dodger Stadium last week? So… in that sense it’s kind of a manufactured moment… right? just weird, but nice. 

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The Omar Vizquel award goes to:

This one will reluctantly go to Madison Bumgarner. He really doesn’t deserve it. But his pickoff of Kershaw at first base was nice to see. It was sneaky and well executed. Even though Kershaw looked like he made it back to me. (again…. the fucking umps)

The Velez Award goes to:

oh my so many to choose from tonight. Where to begin. I guess this will have to go to Pat the Brick with his weighty brick glove and no-body defense in left field. You must put your body in front of the ball. He made and ass of himself out there. Also where the hell is the Rowand to back him up when the ball gets past him. uuuuugh

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The Sherlock Holmes Award (Hero) goes to:

….No…….. you know what…… I ain’t giving this award to anyone. No one deserved it today. 

The Professor Moriarty Award (goat) goes to: 

The Umps. They just straight up got it wrong during this game, bad strike calls, bad non-calls, bad base-path calls. Just bad game all around, I wonder if there is a rotation of umps that make sure that we get good umps once in a while or does the NL West just get a bunch of cast-off garbage?

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More Garbage.

Bumgarner’s throw was too slow over to first base and Kemp’s Steal turned into a run shortly after.

Sanchez has a rare dropped ball, of course it happens now, just like everything else. 


This is all you need to know about tonight’s umps…… This was called a strike. I’m not joking…. and….


This was called a ball two batters later…… NOT JOKING.

Rod Barrajas ruined my fucking night last year. I was working at my job in Manhattan, and ran out after work to catch the last part of the Giants and Mets game. I took the 7 train all the way out to Queens to see if I could get into the stadium late. It was the 8th inning and I found a $5 ticket from a scalper. I ran in, through the oddly out of place Jackie Robinson pavilion and up the stairs. I found my girlfriend who had been there the entire game, she was standing in the walkway behind 3rd base. We watched the last three innings standing there. They went to extras and after a couple of scoreless innings Rod “mutha-fauckin” Barrajas hits a walk off home run to crush night. He did it again tonight, just not as dramatic. 

I didn’t get the chance to screenshot the other two close grounders that got past Tejada, This one got past Sandoval, but I am beginning to lump them together defensively. 

oooooohhh nice picture. ………. actually you know what! I am really getting sick of all the free advertising that Toyota is getting on my blog. If I had some quick way to blot that STUPID Toyota symbol out I would. Like anyone drives a Toyota. Do you know anyone with a Toyota? I don’t. I hate sponsorships. 

Regardless of what the barbarians did to our man Stow in LA, I don’t like to see this kind of unity. It’s like Stephen Colbert breaking character, or Brian Wilson breaking character. It just kinda ruins stuff. Plus if it takes ruining 100+ years of good rivalry to convince San Francisco fans not to ruthlessly savage each other then I am ashamed of everyone. Affeldt and Carroll sounded like my 4th grade teacher out there before the game…… I’m not saying that their message was not correct, I’m just saying that if we need someone talk to us like grade-schoolers, as if we were watching an old PSA on tv, then we need to consider having a “common sense awareness” auction or 5k run.

Jeremy Affeldt starring as……. Your 4th grade substitute teacher. (in your best teacher voice) “ummmm guys,…. hitting each other is bad, and I don’t think you should do it anymore” …….. I mean come on, everyone knows those dudes in LA are degenerates who probably never even finished 4th grade. I just can’t believe it came to this, Affeldt telling me to be nice. uuuugh, my life is moving backwards. 

oh god,….. on the flip side….. I am glad that Carroll didn’t get straight up booed. It was pretty brave of him to even get near the mic at AT&T park. 

Sure Brandon is struggling. But there is something in his face when he is swinging at all those bad pitches that scares me even more. Between swings he looks  contemplatively at his bat. He will furrow his brow and wipe some imaginary April sweat from it. He has the face that I had back in the 8th grade when I had just done amazingly while playing the lead role of Tom Sawyer in the first half of the play we were putting on that year. Only to realize that I had a whole other half to go and I had seriously slacked off on the memorizing part of the latter half of the play. I stumbled around some lines, made a blowfish face with my mouth, looked at the ground, looked at my frantic teacher mrs. (forgot name) who was mouthing ghost words in my direction……. Just shear panic. That’s what this face means to me. 

And of course it wouldn’t be a real Giants game without a late meaningless solo home run. Thanks Pat Burrell. 

Gee Shucks guys! Let’s go get’em tomorrow…….. or we can just get steamrolled like we did today, what the hell!

Don’t Call Him Garbage

You can say a lot of things about Aaron Rowand, but you can’t say that he has given up. I seriously dislike the Giants association with Rowand, but I can’t fault him as a human. He just grinds……… sometimes he grinds a little too hard on sliders thrown outside and in the dirt. But the bastard just grinds. Here’s to you Rowand, keep grinding. Who knows, maybe we won’t miss Ishikawa so much, maybe Rowand becomes an amazing pinch hitter. 

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The Omar Vizquel Award goes to:

Pat Burrell for closing on a well hit ball in left field and making a nice jumping play….. I know…. you don’t remember that do you, that’s cause the game lasted 9 hours! 

The Velez Award goes to: 

Tejada for two miscues, one is stepping on his glove the other was picking up a grounder that should have been Sanchez’s in the 9th that proved to be an infield hit. 

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The Tina Turner Award (hero) goes to: Rowand for getting two big hits, when no one is really on his side (including myself)

The Ike Turner Award (goat) goes to: Brian Wilson for not throwing strikes. Sorry buddy, you wanna be a bad-ass and close games, you gotta throw strikes and shut the door. Screw the dramatic flare, close that shit down. 

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Some extras. 

Huff Miscue #1

Huff miscue #2


Yeah….. The Cardinals don’t really care about this. They are here to ruin our fun!


Sanchez’s breaking pitch was really working today. 

Affeldt needs to open his eyes when he swings.

Tejada makes good on his first swing at AT&T.

Do we need to do more ground ball practice for pitchers? Seriously guys. 

It’s conclusive evidence folks, Burrell is juicing. JK. But seriously, he is crushing balls! (haha)

Sanchez hits a double…….. that’s big Johnny Sanchez, not F. Sanchez.

This was a key play, unfortunately those bastards who were scoring the game didn’t give torres a hit OR a stolen base……. come on guys, your killing my fantasy team!!!

Sorry Affeldt, but your swing SUCKS!!! hahahaha

This is garbage!!! Lose with some dignity you batty old fart! Don’t pull 5 guys into the infield. uuuugh. I HATE Tony LaRussa! I hate him even more because it totally worked!

This is how long the game went, soo long that the announcers started talking about their meat. 

More Umpire garbage, this same spot was called a ball on Wilson at least 3 times in the 9th. 

Arbitrary Statistics

I have been thinking about statistics again…. It’s really something that I shouldn’t do. I’m not a statistician, I’m not even that good at math. The only A I received in my first two years of college was in Statistics. But that is not saying much.

Although I love what stats do, I cannot pretend to create a statistical category that has any kind of real factual base or value. so I will create a statistical category that mixes stats with what I do best, which is basically to take what I see and say something meaningful to me. 

With all that BS said. I created a category that I call “Win/Loss Assignment”, or “Fault Assignment”. After watching the 2007-2009 seasons I started to think about the games that were lost by mere inches. The games that were lost on an Armando Benitez balk, the games lost on a ground ball bobbled by the great Ivan Ochoa, the games lost because Jose Castillo couldn’t bunt to save his life. I always finished the game thinking, if we lose the division by 1 game I will remember this game. Also I always have hunches as to who is the least valuable player on the team, but I never bothered to tally up who I thought it was. 

So for this exercise in madness I will attempt to:

* Place blame (a point) on one player if we lose a close game (Example: Tejada’s wide throw on the first leg of the double play on opening day).

* Assign a point to a player who obviously wins a close game for us (example: Burrell’s HR off Broxton last year).

* I will stick it to the umpire if it’s his fault (example: last year, vs. Mets, the tag at home that wasn’t).

* If it’s a blowout then I’m just gonna mark it as a blow out. If it’s no ones fault, and it’s just a normal game, then that’s how I’m marking it. 

Without further ado…. here’s what it looks like so far. 

I’ve marked down Tejada for the game 1 loss. I put J. Sanchez down for game 2 for the botched bouncing ball. Game three was a blowout although I would love to give someone credit. But let’s be real, you gotta win the close ones like we did last year. 

If anyone has suggestions on this, let me know. 

There Will Be Blood

I tried…. I tried REALLY hard to save the Zito stache phenomenon until I could do a “This Week In Giants Facial Hair” post…. But it’s not possible, it was on full display tonight. This shapely “Nose Mullet” is THE nicest I have seen on a pitching mound since Clay Zavada. Can you attribute Zito’s future dominance to his new “Tom Selleck”? That would be a resounding YES! Is it a major reason why the Giants won 4 to 1 tonight? YES!

Zito I am your eternal fan if you keep the stache! I take back all the bad things I said about you. I will forget the fact that your an emotional wreck with a philosophical attachment to surfboards and other self-absorbed-beach culture douchiness.

Keep the “Plainview” Barry, if you know what is good for you. 

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The Kafka Tamura Award (Hero) goes to: 

Pablo Sandoval for the 38 lbs lighter defensive show he put on in the 4th inning. Pablo also got the first RBI of the night.

The Johnnie Walker Award (Villain) goes to: 

Gio Gonzalez, cause you gotta recognize greatness! This guy is a beast straight up! I would not be surprised if he wins a Cy Young at some point soon.

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The Omar Vizquel award goes to:  

Pat Burrell, There isn’t many times where I can give the award to him. So I gotta do it when I can. Nice Catch Burrell, nice catch. 

The Velez Award goes to:

Andy LaRoche was having a bad day all around. He had a wide throw to first base on a double play chance, and also this bungled ball. 

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Extra goodness. 

OMG these guys are insane homers! I am so happy to have our broadcasters, every time something doesn’t go their way its “NOOOOO” from the fucking peanut gallery. 

Hey look…  smiles!

Coco smiles!

Exhibition game smiles!

Game face bitches!

Zito was about 11 inches away from giving up his 1 run lead early.

Holy crap, DeRosa has a HUGE backside! Just sayin…… just sayin…

DeRosa’s big ass is slowing him down on this foul pop-up.

As much as I hate Panda hats, imagine if this was your only hat choice. Actually imagine if that was your job, making like 2,000 ballon hats. 

Don’t forget the little guy’s contribution an RBI double in the 7th. Fontenot is another player that is better than Rowand

A missed sign gets Andy Laroche into a “Fun”-down in the 5th.

I swear if Schierholtz loses his job and Rowand keeps his I will be pretty irrate. Two batters after Rowand waved frantically at a high pitch Nate blasts this one deep into center field.

Tomorrow I will post my season “Preview”.

Dodger Blues

The Giants win the Pennant! The Giants win the Pennant! .. oh wait.. it’s just a spring training game….. oh.

Ya…. it’s getting to be that time. Even the fans want to start the regular season. Not much to say today. I’m going to a pizza party in Bed-Stuy tonight so I won’t get all flowery on this post. Just gonna say….. WE WON!

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The John Lennon award goes to:

Cody Ross for killing that home run in the 4th even Matt Cain was impressed. 

The Mark David Chapman award goes to:

Javier Lopez….. Your a lefty specialist. You gotta limit the damage with Ethier at the plate. We forgive you, it’s the preseason. But we won’t forgive MDC. I guess it’s kind of harsh to be handing out awards with that dudes named attached. Sorry it’s preseason… I’m only warming up. 

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 On a lighter note. The Velez award goes to:

Runzler for going into a full commando roll after being too slow, taking his eyes off the ball and getting beat to first base by Gwynn. 

 The Omar Vizquel award goes to: 

Huff for staying with a weird hop on a bounce hit down that line that came back into play, and tagging the hitter (forgot who this was). 

Bonus Award…!

The Josh Beckett “slowest mutha fucking pitcher ever” award goes to:

Mota who made 2 innings of work breeze by like it was 2 YEARS!!! No wonder Ethier struck out, he probably did so on purpose cause he had to take a bathroom break. 

Ya take your time buddy, no hurry.

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Bonus pics: I know it’s only spring but……. check out the average on Buster….  .526!!!

Ya Lincecum… You look nothing like that taxi driver on youtube… Nothing.
 

Interviewer: “So Matt I heard you hurt your arm.”

Matt: “Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”

(side note:… I really hate these interviews in the middle of the game thing..it really is not that fun to watch. And as much as I want to relive the World Series I bet Matty, Bumgarner, and Affeldt are pretty sick of it. Especially in the middle of the one game I get to watch all week, cut this shit out. ) 

I felt this one coming….. Pat the Bat launches one. 

Some random fans. 

The whole elvis thing is tired…
 

oh San Francisco. Jam packed full of 20 and 30 somethings with raging cases of Peter Pan syndrome.

Annnnnnnd… The perfect ending. 

Minor Victories

Patrick hits one out opposite field. 

There is something about spring training games that do not lend to television. The absence of the crowd, the lack of real lighting on the field, and the terrible black spring training jerseys that do nothing to help the viewer pick the player out of the background of sad local advertisements and night sky. There is something inherently not as exciting about the Pat Burrell home run than if he hit it while wearing home creams or road grays.

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With that said.

Data (hero) of the game:

• Cody Ross for breaking it open with a 2-run double.

Lore (goat) of the game:

• Yorvit Torrealba…. WTF, how does this lifetime .257 hitter seem to be on every team we play, and hit everything that we throw him?

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Velez Award goes to:

• Daigle for dropping a routine comebacker that he had gloved and was walking over to flip to Belt. 

….. It could have gone to Pablo for this, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt since the infield is probably getting hard. 

The Omar Award goes to:

• Burriss and DeRosa for turning a fancy double play. 

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Random Screenshots.

Skinny Pablo says……… this is for you Texas

Caveman

The Maestro speaks

Caveman….. pickin boogers

Cody getting a great read on the ball

Buh-Bye-Burrell

BTW… Whuuuuut Pablo steals a base?!

The Original

Giants pound the A’s 6 to 2

Screenshot of the game. 

The Original Stephen Strasburg, the original phenom… regaining his Cy Young form.

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4 out of 5 Neukoms

- 5 Walks Taken

- 2 DP turned

- 2 GIDP

- 2 HRs

- Posey put on a damn clinic at 1st base. 

and buster starting the 3-6-3 DP

Buster throwing off his back.

oh ya and his hit an RBI triple!

Posey throws home to get the lead runner in the first. 

Nice pick out of the dirt on an around the horn DP. 

oh ya… and we had some pretty bad lowlights.

Affeldt had a pretty awesome ooops in the 9th as he tries a hero throw to first that is WAAAY offline. 

Nate Shierholtz has NOOOOONE chance to get this triple…. Unnecessary dive award!

Pablo has a ball run right past him on a pick throw to third. 

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I’m going World Cup (french bias) theme…… (sorry soccer haters)

The Zinedine Zidane award (hero) goes to Pat the Bat Burrell. Welcome home kid. I got love for Yay Area kids. Also it would go to Timmy but I am pretty sure he will get more Hero awards this year… I am not positive that Pat will, let’s hope so. 

The Marco Materazzi award (villain) goes to Kevin Kouzmanoff who not only is an ex-Padre (which might explain some ownage) but he went 3 -4 off of Lincecum. 

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extras:

NO… The WTF costume does NOT go to these guys………..

it goes to THIS guy….. look right to the left of Brian Wilson…… WTF!!!!!!

Nice catch……(after the miss)…… my Nate the Great. 

Sorry Nate….. I thought this dive was almost as good as these…. at least I knew yours was sincere!

Andres Torres being Andres Torres….. love this guy.

I did too!!!!…… But I had to clean mine up with a mop….. sorry …. you set that one up on a tee.

Seriously…… CSN bay area! are you that hard up for cash? these advertisements are getting retarded…. what is next, “Cash for Gold?”

GET FUCKED BALL! ….. big money finally earns it. 

Ya……. signing vetrans….. thats a terrible idea. Where would we be without Huff. I hope I can say the same about Burrell in three weeks.

Some infield hitting…. way too much of this for fatty tonight. 

Bam Bam like big flies!