Giants Midnight Replay

Dumpster Diving For Show Dogs

Seems like every day I see that the Giants have picked up some scrap heap special or FORMER major leaguer, possibly dominant arm, or random 5th starter that you might remember from some long hot mid-summer road Giants road trip last year. I feel like we have been through this before….. 

It seems that the Giants love to grab a “big” (if you can call Tejada big) free agent early in the offseason and then wait until the very end and pick up all the scraps that are left for lunch money and a promise to not be cut first in spring training. Sometimes we get lucky with our scrap heap grabs, and sometimes we eat lots of shit doing it. By casting a wide net the Giants do give themselves the best chances at getting lucky. 

Let’s go through some of this nasty lot. Maybe we can cast some bets as to who will make the club, and who will be back in Florida wiping Cherrios off their kids face, half way through spring training.

• Edgar Gonzalez aka Stephen Baldwin. I guess that we are hoping that playing somewhere OUT of his brother’s shadow will help him. Also we needed to fill our Edgar Quota….. chances of making team… 1 in 5

• Elmer Dessens or… Answer to the trivia question…. Who started the 3rd most amount of games for the Reds in the 2000s? …. chances of making team……. 1 in 20

• Jeff Suppan, we have already been over this. …. chances of making team ….. 1 in 2

• Justin Christian …… chances of making team……. 1 in 30

• Simon Mercedes … literally no pictures of this guy….. 1 in 100

19 year old flame thrower from the Dominican Republic who apparently is so fast that he can avoid cameras so far. 

• Josh Banks  anyone remember this game… I do… vividly. …… 1 in 10

• Marc Kroon or answer to the trivia question…. who is the only current Giant to  have his own iPhone App? ….. chances of making the team ……. 1 in 30

INCOMING!!!! Free Agents and Others.

1. Miguel Tejada

Hey Tejada! how many home runs do you think you can hit this year?

…hmmmm ya… I would say more like 9,…. 

Listen I am not allowed to like you, unless you pull off some crazy Aubrey Huff move and impress me to the point of changing my mind. To me you are just another plastic horse on the vetren marry-go-round that has been running for years now. Last year it worked, I was impressed and very happy, but let’s face it. You are no Juan Uribe. What I’m saying is… it’s gonna take a lot to get me to like you. But please try. 

2. Jeff Suppan. 

Jeff ohhhh jeff, You get minus 100 points for falling victim to the douchy shirt desease that is rampaging through major league baseball, but then you get them all back for taking your picture with the one of my favorite Star Trek TNG characters. 

What can I say about this pitcher that I didn’t already say about last years model. 

Welcome to the shadows buddy. 

NRI (non roster invitees) 

There are two that I am excited about. Besides the Belts and the Crawford who we all know need to start doing well and impressing in spring training, there are a few who have interesting stories or are just weird that I am rooting for. 

1. Jason Stoffel

Speaking of keeping the Giants ugly…. holy shit this guy is one ugly MF-er. I LOVE him. He was drafted as a closer and has been doing a pretty good job of it as he had 25 saves after he got the bump to single A San Jose last year. 

But honestly Jason…. let’s keep your mustache alive, there are already too many goatees in the majors. 

ya that’s better. 

2. Marc Kroon

So many reason to like this guy, he throws 162 km per hour…. for you non Japanese league people, that is about 101 mph. Which is still impressive even after you take into consideration that us americans have bigger balls (no seriously we do).

Also I have a slight obsession with NPB after reading several good books on the league and how they treat Gajin. 

For one he already played for the Giants and has won a championship with them…. albeit the Yomiuri Giants. 

He seems to be a, Celebrities-visiting-Japan-Magnate.

Oh and he has the COOLEST WEBSITE EVER (RE: crazy, retardedest)