Giants Midnight Replay

Terribler Than Terrible

“These aren’t your father’s Nationals” That’s what Krukow said on the pregame show. I am assuming he was speaking about the endless futility of the Expos. At the same time Kruk might have a point. The Nationals are not terrible, but to say that the they are not terrible would be a lie. They ARE terrible, but the Giants are terribler. The Giants are the 111 loss 2004 Diamondbacks right now. The Giants are the fucking 43 win 2003 Detroit Tigers right now. The Giants are the fucking 1994-2010 Pittsburg Pirates right now.  The Giants’ bats are limper than a senior citizen’s wrist. Ok let’s leave it at that. So let’s all just do some jumping jacks, loosen up and settle in for a LONG road trip. Let’s enjoy this round of terrible baseball while it lasts. Let’s hope it doesn’t last long. 

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The Omar Award goes to: 

Aubrey Huff for the excellent play down the first base line early in the game. 

The Velez Award goes to:

Aaron Rowand and Cody Ross. I think everyone knows what I am talking about…… Just look at the picture.

“let’s share this ball and be happy” says those dorks.

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The Dorus Rijkers Award (Hero) goes to: 

Tim Lincecum who found his good pitches a couple of innings too late. Poor bastard, if you don’t throw a shutout then you pretty much have no shot at winning with this lineup. 

I forgot to snap a pic of Tim tonight so I stole this pic from here..

The Sea Award (Goat) goes to:

Jason Marquis who is a mutha fucking Giant KILLER. It’s unbelievable how much the Giants suck right now, and Marquis is just the wrong type of pitcher for us to face right now. I would rather face Halliday, Sabathia, Josh Johnson or pretty much any number of aces. A ground ball pitcher is the last thing I want to see on an upcoming schedule. 

Here he is hitting an RBI hit and run on an impossible pitch to hit. 

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Bonus Crap:

This bunt that worked (but ultimately didn’t work) doesn’t bother me. We are up against a ground ball double play pitcher, and we have a guy on base. Solid option. 

This bunt does bother me, Miguel Tejada, former MVP, former slugger is bunting with no one on base and 36 year old legs. Now Tejada made it to first, I know, fair enough. But it just proves that Tejada knows that he sucks, and in my opinion should not be playing. 

Right after Rowand and Cody decided that they wanted to share a fly ball Nix blasts a 2 run HR. Perfect timing. Can things go worse for the Giants?…….

Yes… Cody (why am I still in the lineup) Ross hits a single and gets throw out by 8-12 feet at 2nd base. 

Buster (Don’t vote for me for the All-Star game ) Posey along with the rest of the Giants hitters swing about 20+ times at this pitch. 

Posey throws his second runner out except he is called safe (make-up-call). This guy went on to score on that impossible hit and run Marquis hit. 

Bring in the scrubs!!!!

This is How to Lose at Baseball

This whole game wasn’t a total loss. There were some sweet moments. The only one I remember was Uribe crying when he got his ring. Which was a nice moment for him and the fans. But you have to think about this…. does Uribe get this moment if Stow doesn’t get beat up in the parking lot of Dodger Stadium last week? So… in that sense it’s kind of a manufactured moment… right? just weird, but nice. 

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The Omar Vizquel award goes to:

This one will reluctantly go to Madison Bumgarner. He really doesn’t deserve it. But his pickoff of Kershaw at first base was nice to see. It was sneaky and well executed. Even though Kershaw looked like he made it back to me. (again…. the fucking umps)

The Velez Award goes to:

oh my so many to choose from tonight. Where to begin. I guess this will have to go to Pat the Brick with his weighty brick glove and no-body defense in left field. You must put your body in front of the ball. He made and ass of himself out there. Also where the hell is the Rowand to back him up when the ball gets past him. uuuuugh

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The Sherlock Holmes Award (Hero) goes to:

….No…….. you know what…… I ain’t giving this award to anyone. No one deserved it today. 

The Professor Moriarty Award (goat) goes to: 

The Umps. They just straight up got it wrong during this game, bad strike calls, bad non-calls, bad base-path calls. Just bad game all around, I wonder if there is a rotation of umps that make sure that we get good umps once in a while or does the NL West just get a bunch of cast-off garbage?

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More Garbage.

Bumgarner’s throw was too slow over to first base and Kemp’s Steal turned into a run shortly after.

Sanchez has a rare dropped ball, of course it happens now, just like everything else. 


This is all you need to know about tonight’s umps…… This was called a strike. I’m not joking…. and….


This was called a ball two batters later…… NOT JOKING.

Rod Barrajas ruined my fucking night last year. I was working at my job in Manhattan, and ran out after work to catch the last part of the Giants and Mets game. I took the 7 train all the way out to Queens to see if I could get into the stadium late. It was the 8th inning and I found a $5 ticket from a scalper. I ran in, through the oddly out of place Jackie Robinson pavilion and up the stairs. I found my girlfriend who had been there the entire game, she was standing in the walkway behind 3rd base. We watched the last three innings standing there. They went to extras and after a couple of scoreless innings Rod “mutha-fauckin” Barrajas hits a walk off home run to crush night. He did it again tonight, just not as dramatic. 

I didn’t get the chance to screenshot the other two close grounders that got past Tejada, This one got past Sandoval, but I am beginning to lump them together defensively. 

oooooohhh nice picture. ………. actually you know what! I am really getting sick of all the free advertising that Toyota is getting on my blog. If I had some quick way to blot that STUPID Toyota symbol out I would. Like anyone drives a Toyota. Do you know anyone with a Toyota? I don’t. I hate sponsorships. 

Regardless of what the barbarians did to our man Stow in LA, I don’t like to see this kind of unity. It’s like Stephen Colbert breaking character, or Brian Wilson breaking character. It just kinda ruins stuff. Plus if it takes ruining 100+ years of good rivalry to convince San Francisco fans not to ruthlessly savage each other then I am ashamed of everyone. Affeldt and Carroll sounded like my 4th grade teacher out there before the game…… I’m not saying that their message was not correct, I’m just saying that if we need someone talk to us like grade-schoolers, as if we were watching an old PSA on tv, then we need to consider having a “common sense awareness” auction or 5k run.

Jeremy Affeldt starring as……. Your 4th grade substitute teacher. (in your best teacher voice) “ummmm guys,…. hitting each other is bad, and I don’t think you should do it anymore” …….. I mean come on, everyone knows those dudes in LA are degenerates who probably never even finished 4th grade. I just can’t believe it came to this, Affeldt telling me to be nice. uuuugh, my life is moving backwards. 

oh god,….. on the flip side….. I am glad that Carroll didn’t get straight up booed. It was pretty brave of him to even get near the mic at AT&T park. 

Sure Brandon is struggling. But there is something in his face when he is swinging at all those bad pitches that scares me even more. Between swings he looks  contemplatively at his bat. He will furrow his brow and wipe some imaginary April sweat from it. He has the face that I had back in the 8th grade when I had just done amazingly while playing the lead role of Tom Sawyer in the first half of the play we were putting on that year. Only to realize that I had a whole other half to go and I had seriously slacked off on the memorizing part of the latter half of the play. I stumbled around some lines, made a blowfish face with my mouth, looked at the ground, looked at my frantic teacher mrs. (forgot name) who was mouthing ghost words in my direction……. Just shear panic. That’s what this face means to me. 

And of course it wouldn’t be a real Giants game without a late meaningless solo home run. Thanks Pat Burrell. 

Gee Shucks guys! Let’s go get’em tomorrow…….. or we can just get steamrolled like we did today, what the hell!

Don’t Call Him Garbage

You can say a lot of things about Aaron Rowand, but you can’t say that he has given up. I seriously dislike the Giants association with Rowand, but I can’t fault him as a human. He just grinds……… sometimes he grinds a little too hard on sliders thrown outside and in the dirt. But the bastard just grinds. Here’s to you Rowand, keep grinding. Who knows, maybe we won’t miss Ishikawa so much, maybe Rowand becomes an amazing pinch hitter. 

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The Omar Vizquel Award goes to:

Pat Burrell for closing on a well hit ball in left field and making a nice jumping play….. I know…. you don’t remember that do you, that’s cause the game lasted 9 hours! 

The Velez Award goes to: 

Tejada for two miscues, one is stepping on his glove the other was picking up a grounder that should have been Sanchez’s in the 9th that proved to be an infield hit. 

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The Tina Turner Award (hero) goes to: Rowand for getting two big hits, when no one is really on his side (including myself)

The Ike Turner Award (goat) goes to: Brian Wilson for not throwing strikes. Sorry buddy, you wanna be a bad-ass and close games, you gotta throw strikes and shut the door. Screw the dramatic flare, close that shit down. 

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Some extras. 

Huff Miscue #1

Huff miscue #2


Yeah….. The Cardinals don’t really care about this. They are here to ruin our fun!


Sanchez’s breaking pitch was really working today. 

Affeldt needs to open his eyes when he swings.

Tejada makes good on his first swing at AT&T.

Do we need to do more ground ball practice for pitchers? Seriously guys. 

It’s conclusive evidence folks, Burrell is juicing. JK. But seriously, he is crushing balls! (haha)

Sanchez hits a double…….. that’s big Johnny Sanchez, not F. Sanchez.

This was a key play, unfortunately those bastards who were scoring the game didn’t give torres a hit OR a stolen base……. come on guys, your killing my fantasy team!!!

Sorry Affeldt, but your swing SUCKS!!! hahahaha

This is garbage!!! Lose with some dignity you batty old fart! Don’t pull 5 guys into the infield. uuuugh. I HATE Tony LaRussa! I hate him even more because it totally worked!

This is how long the game went, soo long that the announcers started talking about their meat. 

More Umpire garbage, this same spot was called a ball on Wilson at least 3 times in the 9th. 

40 Giants in 37 days

We continue our discussion of how everyone on the 40 will do this year and why I probably don’t like them.

Freddy Sanchez

How will he do this year?

With the rise of advanced statistics there had to be something that lost it’s value. I feel like of the three triple crown categories, Batting Average has become the least valuable. Unfortunately that is the part of the triple crown that Sanchez has won before. Having a +.300 AVG is not exactly the sexiest stat anymore just ask Randy Winn. Although it will be nice to have a solid average at 2B, he will not be hitting anything out to the cove. With all that I say that we get an “average” version of our most average asset. .300 hitter, hopefully north of .350 OBP, and we might get lucky and see 1 or 2 get over the fence.

Do I like the guy?

Why do I think of Freddy Sanchez as a total nerd? Have I seen him in a pair of glasses ever? He also gets point in my book for coming up with the Pirates. Thee WORST team ever. I have a soft spot for guys who seem to look out of place on a baseball field. I can see this guy teaching 6th grade or showing a model house on the real estate beat.

Would I hang out with him?

For sure, we could play Scrabble, watch Harry Potter, eat popcorn, and drink yoo-hoo.

Will he have an essential part in the 2010 Giants.

Most definitely, everyone in the starting lineup has to OVER-produce for us to get into the playoffs. We need your doubles hitting .300 AVG and your double play agility up the middle.