Giants Midnight Replay

commentary on the sf giants from 2907 miles away

Walking Off

Last night my boss took me out to eat, we went out for burgers and he tried to convince me to not quit my job. We ate our burgers and had a couple of uncomfortable moments. Eating, drinking, me talking about “how money matters to me now”, as if I’m some sort of adult. After dinner we split ways, I went drinking with a friend, had a few too many and ended up running around SOHO kicking trashcans over at 3 am. At some point I blacked out, got blue paint all over my pants, told a poet that I hate poetry and lost $20. I woke up at 1pm today, my head was throbbing. 

There’s no walk off hit in real life. I can’t make an amazing latte for someone, get cheered by a room full of satisfied customers, be mobbed by delirious co-workers and carried out on their shoulders. Life doesn’t provide the moments that baseball provides. I guess that’s why we get shitty drunk and run around manhattan kicking trashcans over. 

——————————————————————————————————-

The Omar Vizquel Defensive Excellence Award Goes To:

Aubrey Huff for sticking with the under-thrown ball to nail Miranda at 2nd. 

The Eugenio Velez Defensive Indifference Award Goes To:

Freddy Sanchez… surprisingly. For making 2 errors on one play, bobbling a ball and then throwing it too low for huff. 

——————————————————————————————————-

The Setoguchi Award (Hero) Goes to:

Lincecum…… I wanted it tonight. I was sniffing a no-hitter when I turned the game on when I got home in the 2nd inning. “is there a hit yet”?

My girlfriend goes to sleep and I ask her…..”should I wake you up if anything “historic” happens?”….. It’s gonna happen… someday. Until then, sleep tight. 

The Datsyuk Award (Goat) Goes to:

Ian Kennedy, not only for throwing a damn fine game but for breaking up the no-hitter in the 6th. disappointing, I was really feeling like tonight could have been the night for Timmy. But just like Datsyuk… you have to recognize greatness. 

——————————————————————————————————-

More Stuffs

This makes me wonder if the phrasing “Andre The Giant” is copy write, or if they felt it was appropriate to call it “Andre el Gigante” just because of his latin roots? Either way it is kinda cool, and kinda lame, I can’t decide yet.  

Buster sniffs out a hit. 

“Vaaat I git no vin today, eeez ok”

Cody Ross does the Freddy Sanchez “fake like it’s inside” dance

Then he throws his bat like a spoiled brat. haha

Tim threw two perfect corner pitches for strikes in a row in the 7th inning. Both times they showed a close up of his face and he was mouthing “fuck” with a disappointed look on his face. Perfection must be hard. 

Buster Posey is making gloves drop like beats……. ok that didn’t work as a metaphor. Whatever, Posey is playing great. 

Can some internet nerd draw some lasers shooting out of these eyes? Cause Ford is straight up cyclopsing dudes with these lazy browns. “Ya, I just stole on you… what?”

Huff has the swing of the game, with this karate chop fouling a ball at his eyes. 

Amy G. is the only thing in the world that makes Cody not want to smile. I feel ya Cody, I feel ya. 

Posted in cody ross tim lincecum brian wilson andres torres sf giants setoguchi datsyuk omar vizquel aubrey huff velez sanchez ian kennedy buster posey darren ford darren for stolen base
Comments

Terribler Than Terrible

“These aren’t your father’s Nationals” That’s what Krukow said on the pregame show. I am assuming he was speaking about the endless futility of the Expos. At the same time Kruk might have a point. The Nationals are not terrible, but to say that the they are not terrible would be a lie. They ARE terrible, but the Giants are terribler. The Giants are the 111 loss 2004 Diamondbacks right now. The Giants are the fucking 43 win 2003 Detroit Tigers right now. The Giants are the fucking 1994-2010 Pittsburg Pirates right now.  The Giants’ bats are limper than a senior citizen’s wrist. Ok let’s leave it at that. So let’s all just do some jumping jacks, loosen up and settle in for a LONG road trip. Let’s enjoy this round of terrible baseball while it lasts. Let’s hope it doesn’t last long. 

——————————————————————————————————-

The Omar Award goes to: 

Aubrey Huff for the excellent play down the first base line early in the game. 

The Velez Award goes to:

Aaron Rowand and Cody Ross. I think everyone knows what I am talking about…… Just look at the picture.

“let’s share this ball and be happy” says those dorks.

 

————————————————————————————————-

The Dorus Rijkers Award (Hero) goes to: 

Tim Lincecum who found his good pitches a couple of innings too late. Poor bastard, if you don’t throw a shutout then you pretty much have no shot at winning with this lineup. 

I forgot to snap a pic of Tim tonight so I stole this pic from here..

 

The Sea Award (Goat) goes to:

Jason Marquis who is a mutha fucking Giant KILLER. It’s unbelievable how much the Giants suck right now, and Marquis is just the wrong type of pitcher for us to face right now. I would rather face Halliday, Sabathia, Josh Johnson or pretty much any number of aces. A ground ball pitcher is the last thing I want to see on an upcoming schedule. 

Here he is hitting an RBI hit and run on an impossible pitch to hit. 

————————————————————————————————-

Bonus Crap:

This bunt that worked (but ultimately didn’t work) doesn’t bother me. We are up against a ground ball double play pitcher, and we have a guy on base. Solid option. 

This bunt does bother me, Miguel Tejada, former MVP, former slugger is bunting with no one on base and 36 year old legs. Now Tejada made it to first, I know, fair enough. But it just proves that Tejada knows that he sucks, and in my opinion should not be playing. 

Right after Rowand and Cody decided that they wanted to share a fly ball Nix blasts a 2 run HR. Perfect timing. Can things go worse for the Giants?…….

Yes… Cody (why am I still in the lineup) Ross hits a single and gets throw out by 8-12 feet at 2nd base. 

Buster (Don’t vote for me for the All-Star game ) Posey along with the rest of the Giants hitters swing about 20+ times at this pitch. 

Posey throws his second runner out except he is called safe (make-up-call). This guy went on to score on that impossible hit and run Marquis hit. 

Bring in the scrubs!!!!

Posted in tim lincecum buster posey cody ross sf giants Miguel tejada freddy sanchez jason marquis nationals dorus rijkers aaron rowand omar vizquel Aubrey Huff
Comments

Never Forget (Ex-Giants)

I’ve got midterms ok!!! geeeeeez. Plus no one offered to help with the blog!!! I’m a little tense at the moment!!!! Cody Ross’s calf just went BOOM and Moses’ oblique is sore, can you blame me for being a bit stressed.

 

Ok let’s cure all this misery and visit some of our old friends who have moved on.

—————————————————————————————————-

Oh Randy Winn, how long shall you roam the outfield before you see the postseason? From the looks of that bird on your hat, it’s gonna be a while. At least you strike out with style………. oh geez I need a beer before I continue….. hold on….

 

Hello my name is “No One Remembers Me”…. first one to guess correctly gets my eternal sympathy……. damn, I forgot to get my beer……. hold on…

 

Jamey Wright, one time rival for prettiest man in the Giants rotation with Noah Lowry, is now flaunting his hunky 6,6 frame for all the seattle broads. Seattle is his 9th team in 11th years. 

“Don’t get Joe Martinez’ed”…… my girlfriend and I were saying that all last year every time something was thrown at our faces. Now, “Don’t get Joe Martinez’ed” means… don’t get traded to a shitty team, only to be traded to an even shittier team. poor bastard. 

OMG! It’s an Ex-Giant double header! Joe Martinez fools Fred Lewis with a pitch…… straight down the middle of the plate. 

Biggest clue that you’re watching an Astros game…… They are selling “all you can eat” tickets…. oh ya.. and Matt Downs might make the club while batting a surprising .354 worth of bad hop grounders and dry air aided home runs down in AZ. 

 

I DARE you to guess who this is! ok it’s Pat Misch who has a chance to crack the bullpen with the Mets, not that that is saying much. the Mets are terrible.  Trust me I have to go to their games. 

Look it’s Bengie Molina…. No….. wait… it’s what we got for Bengie Molina along with Michael Main and  -$2,000,000. (ya… 2 million dollars„, that’s 1.5 million more than I will EVER see)

I was on my yearly family camping trip one summer, when I headed into the nearest town to get my coffee fix. I jumped online just to see what was happening on the trade front…. Turns out we had just sent Matt Morris out to pasture (pittsburgh) and gotten the speedy Rajai Davis in return…… aaah good times… Anyone remember why we let this guy go? Wasn’t it to fit Jesus Guzman on the roster or something terrible like that?

ahhhh Bowker walking back to the dugout with a quizzical look on his face. A sight we all saw a bit too often. Actually, sitting over here in Brooklyn, I am definitely gonna try to hit up a Pittsburgh game this year. You could get tickets right behind home plate for like…. $27.  

Speaking of Pirates…. Kevin Correia continues his misery tour of total crap teams as he gets the nod for an OPENING DAY START!!!! ARE YOU JOKING! 

Ok take care, and let’s all cross our fingers and pray for Rowand to get traded…. As you all should be doing every night before you go to bed.

Posted in Kevin Correia john bowker Rajai Davis randy winn chris ray pat misch jamey wright scott downs fred lewis joe martinez denny bautista brian wilson cody ross
Comments

This Week In Giants Facial Hair. (#3)

What sets men apart from boys…. besides being able to buy beer? Men can grow facial hair, ok…. men can bring gnarly amounts of hair to the surface of their faces. Let us sit and celebrate, mock, and marvel over the facial hair of your San Francisco Giants. 

Latest & Greatest

What’s going on in this picture? What Ishi is bringing to the table might just be a more molded and extended version of what he had before.

 But to me it is looking more like a facial hair style that has been unofficially banned from the Giants clubhouse……. More specifically THIS ONE:

 

Yes… I said it… “The Velez” has been officially baned from the clubhouse. Also…. Yes I AM trying to mention Velez in EVERY blog I do. 

Also it looks like Cody Ross is keeping the World Series beard. I see no evidence of him having one before last year. 

——————————————————————————————————-

Best Facial Hair of The Year …. (so far)

I just picked up a copy of this on Saturday…. This mustache makes me weep with joy. Sadly the scum-stash is gone…… hopefully not forever. 

Worst Facial Hair This Year…. (so far)

Hands down Jeremy Affeldt has had and currently has the worst facial hair ever. It straight up reminds me of a vagina.

Please Jeremy…. listen to reason… it looks terrible. Your a decent looking guy, but your ruining it with that landing strip. Stop…. please. 

Look at him during his Reds days… so much better. 

——————————————————————————————————-

There has been a lot of hair sticking out all over the field lately. Sometimes when I’m looking at a player I can see the hair sticking out behind from behind their neck. My hair used to be like that. (no I don’t have pics). I’ve noticed Pippen rocking an inordinate amount of hair lately. Just a huge mane back-flowing out the neck, pretty epic. But if he doesn’t watch out it he could be visited by the mullet fairy one night. 


Newcomer Culberson has been rocking the same hair wad. It’s as if they have an exhaust pipe out the back of their heads and a cloud of brown smoke got petrified on the way out.  

But when you can see a BEARD coming out the sides of a neck from BEHIND. THAT is EPIC. 

Congrats Brian…. your beard has passed the “fully epic” stage. 

——————————————————————————————————-

Random Scruff

Rowand, rocking his boxy scruff, a stupid smirk, his gamer stains. Too bad you can’t see it, cause his head is waaaaay up his ass. 

The only thing about Whiteside’s scruff is that it might be the only part of his hair that is not FULLY grey. It’s a small island of youth still clinging to his chin. 

Pablo….. This looks bad. either go for a beard, a mustache, or nothing. 

Scruff to the future?

Comments

Dodger Blues

The Giants win the Pennant! The Giants win the Pennant! .. oh wait.. it’s just a spring training game….. oh.

Ya…. it’s getting to be that time. Even the fans want to start the regular season. Not much to say today. I’m going to a pizza party in Bed-Stuy tonight so I won’t get all flowery on this post. Just gonna say….. WE WON!

—————————————————————————————————

The John Lennon award goes to:

Cody Ross for killing that home run in the 4th even Matt Cain was impressed. 

The Mark David Chapman award goes to:

Javier Lopez….. Your a lefty specialist. You gotta limit the damage with Ethier at the plate. We forgive you, it’s the preseason. But we won’t forgive MDC. I guess it’s kind of harsh to be handing out awards with that dudes named attached. Sorry it’s preseason… I’m only warming up. 

—————————————————————————————————-

 On a lighter note. The Velez award goes to:

Runzler for going into a full commando roll after being too slow, taking his eyes off the ball and getting beat to first base by Gwynn. 

 

 The Omar Vizquel award goes to: 

Huff for staying with a weird hop on a bounce hit down that line that came back into play, and tagging the hitter (forgot who this was). 

Bonus Award…!

The Josh Beckett “slowest mutha fucking pitcher ever” award goes to:

Mota who made 2 innings of work breeze by like it was 2 YEARS!!! No wonder Ethier struck out, he probably did so on purpose cause he had to take a bathroom break. 

 

Ya take your time buddy, no hurry.

—————————————————————————————————-

Bonus pics: I know it’s only spring but……. check out the average on Buster….  .526!!!


Ya Lincecum… You look nothing like that taxi driver on youtube… Nothing.
 


Interviewer: “So Matt I heard you hurt your arm.”

Matt: “Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”


(side note:… I really hate these interviews in the middle of the game thing..it really is not that fun to watch. And as much as I want to relive the World Series I bet Matty, Bumgarner, and Affeldt are pretty sick of it. Especially in the middle of the one game I get to watch all week, cut this shit out. ) 


I felt this one coming….. Pat the Bat launches one. 


Some random fans. 


The whole elvis thing is tired…
 


oh San Francisco. Jam packed full of 20 and 30 somethings with raging cases of Peter Pan syndrome.


Annnnnnnd… The perfect ending. 


Posted in sf giants velez omar vizquel pat burrell matt cain lincecum look-alike buster posey mota josh beckett dodgers huff Dan Runzler javier lopez cody ross
Comments

Minor Victories

Patrick hits one out opposite field. 

There is something about spring training games that do not lend to television. The absence of the crowd, the lack of real lighting on the field, and the terrible black spring training jerseys that do nothing to help the viewer pick the player out of the background of sad local advertisements and night sky. There is something inherently not as exciting about the Pat Burrell home run than if he hit it while wearing home creams or road grays.

——————————————————————————————————- 

With that said.

Data (hero) of the game:

• Cody Ross for breaking it open with a 2-run double.

Lore (goat) of the game:

Yorvit Torrealba…. WTF, how does this lifetime .257 hitter seem to be on every team we play, and hit everything that we throw him?

——————————————————————————————————-

Velez Award goes to:

• Daigle for dropping a routine comebacker that he had gloved and was walking over to flip to Belt. 

….. It could have gone to Pablo for this, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt since the infield is probably getting hard. 

 

The Omar Award goes to:

• Burriss and DeRosa for turning a fancy double play. 

 

—————————————————————————————————

Random Screenshots.

Skinny Pablo says……… this is for you Texas

 

Caveman

 

The Maestro speaks

Caveman….. pickin boogers

 

Cody getting a great read on the ball

Buh-Bye-Burrell

BTW… Whuuuuut Pablo steals a base?!

Posted in pat burrell cody ross omar vizquel eugenio velez sf giants Torrealba brandon belt pablo sandoval
Comments

Cody Ross In The Hall Of Smiles

I wonder how Cody Ross got his nickname. 

  

 

  

 

  

Is anyone else tired of looking at Cody’s pearly whites?

Here is a slightly less happy cody……. slightly. 

 

 

 

  

oooooooh my god… aahhhhhhhhh tooo many smiles!

 

 

 

Is this a smile?…… of a wince…….. or a fart?

 

ok ok ok, it’s genuine. If you are smiling this big as a kid then you deserve to wear it the rest of the way. 

Posted in cody ross sf giants florida marlins reds marlins tigers mud hens dodgers
Comments