Giants Midnight Replay

Never Forget (Ex-Giants)

I’ve got midterms ok!!! geeeeeez. Plus no one offered to help with the blog!!! I’m a little tense at the moment!!!! Cody Ross’s calf just went BOOM and Moses’ oblique is sore, can you blame me for being a bit stressed.

Ok let’s cure all this misery and visit some of our old friends who have moved on.

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Oh Randy Winn, how long shall you roam the outfield before you see the postseason? From the looks of that bird on your hat, it’s gonna be a while. At least you strike out with style………. oh geez I need a beer before I continue….. hold on….

Hello my name is “No One Remembers Me”…. first one to guess correctly gets my eternal sympathy……. damn, I forgot to get my beer……. hold on…

Jamey Wright, one time rival for prettiest man in the Giants rotation with Noah Lowry, is now flaunting his hunky 6,6 frame for all the seattle broads. Seattle is his 9th team in 11th years. 

“Don’t get Joe Martinez’ed”…… my girlfriend and I were saying that all last year every time something was thrown at our faces. Now, “Don’t get Joe Martinez’ed” means… don’t get traded to a shitty team, only to be traded to an even shittier team. poor bastard. 

OMG! It’s an Ex-Giant double header! Joe Martinez fools Fred Lewis with a pitch…… straight down the middle of the plate. 

Biggest clue that you’re watching an Astros game…… They are selling “all you can eat” tickets…. oh ya.. and Matt Downs might make the club while batting a surprising .354 worth of bad hop grounders and dry air aided home runs down in AZ. 

I DARE you to guess who this is! ok it’s Pat Misch who has a chance to crack the bullpen with the Mets, not that that is saying much. the Mets are terrible.  Trust me I have to go to their games. 

Look it’s Bengie Molina…. No….. wait… it’s what we got for Bengie Molina along with Michael Main and  -$2,000,000. (ya… 2 million dollars„, that’s 1.5 million more than I will EVER see)

I was on my yearly family camping trip one summer, when I headed into the nearest town to get my coffee fix. I jumped online just to see what was happening on the trade front…. Turns out we had just sent Matt Morris out to pasture (pittsburgh) and gotten the speedy Rajai Davis in return…… aaah good times… Anyone remember why we let this guy go? Wasn’t it to fit Jesus Guzman on the roster or something terrible like that?

ahhhh Bowker walking back to the dugout with a quizzical look on his face. A sight we all saw a bit too often. Actually, sitting over here in Brooklyn, I am definitely gonna try to hit up a Pittsburgh game this year. You could get tickets right behind home plate for like…. $27.  

Speaking of Pirates…. Kevin Correia continues his misery tour of total crap teams as he gets the nod for an OPENING DAY START!!!! ARE YOU JOKING! 

Ok take care, and let’s all cross our fingers and pray for Rowand to get traded…. As you all should be doing every night before you go to bed.

Just Stopping By For a Ring…. (Outgoing Male)

Non-tendered

1. Chris Ray

This guy deserves a ring the least out of these players. The Mariners will be his 4th team in 5 years. That must feel strange, winning a World Series then just moving on. And like that the last remaining parts of Bengie Molina are gone. (one small tear).

2. Eugenio Velez

Wearer of silly road jerseys, man of many nicknames, fan whipping boy and crusher of meaningless homeruns. If Eugenio will be missed, then he will be missed for pure entertainment value. A sad clown in the outfield, a bumbler of balls on the infield. So long stickman. This is one Giant that I will not mind seeing in Blue next year. Also on a side note. It is totally unfair that a player like Velez will get a ring and a player like Omar Vizquel will not….. just saying. 

Sold Out

3. Juan Uribe. 

Oh…. Hello Mr, “used to be my favorite player!”… Let me tell you something. If you win a World Series with a team on Nov. 1st….. Then by the END OF THE MONTH… you are signing a contract with their rival of A HUNDRED AND TWENTY YEARS!!!! … That ain’t cool dog. That’s like splitting a 4 pack of condoms between two girlfriends. (kinda). Why did you do that man? Not cool! I will not cheer for you when you come back! Show some damn loyalty! You have already earned $19,072,000 before you signed the Dodgers contract………… You know what…. forget it….. Enjoy the ring, have fun in the worst town on earth. I can only hope that your contract plays out like Jason Schmidt’s did. 

I’m just kidding Juan…. I’ll miss the hell out of you. Goodbye Jazz Hands. 

4. Edgar Renteria

ohhh snap, I totally forgot about this guy… No seriously, I completely forgot about him. I posted this post without even thinking about him. But let’s be honest. Did anyone ever like this guy while he was here? I hated the signing from day one. Who needs an old ass shortstop soaking up 18 million dollars while playing poorly and getting injured frequently. 

So great he hit a home run that won us a World Series. But he also had the nerve to shoo a million dollars away like a pesky fly. That, in my book is Renteria showing his true colors. A million dollars WTF! Get lost ass hole. I will work the rest of my life and never make a million dollars. Good riddance.