Rooting Strategies
Aside from last year there have not been too many years lately when I had anyone to root for in the playoffs. Let’s face it, your a baseball addict and when you find yourself watching a Brewers vs. Pirates in at 1pm on a Sunday in May you will be able to figure out who to root for.
First you have to assign all teams with a value of 0. This is a nice neutral starting point. Now for every category that applies you add or subtract value to see who you should root for.
Add varying points for the following:
1. +5 for every player who used to play for your team.
2. +3 for every player who has helped you win your fantasy league
3. +3 for every player that you begrudgingly admire
4. +2 for every non-rival division team
6. +7 for a World Series drought of more than 30 years.
7. +6 for a franchise that doesn’t have a trophy
8. +5 for a town you formerly lived in
9. +6 for a team with payroll under $85,000,000 (add 5 mill every year)
10. +1 for cool uniforms
Subtract varying points for the following.
1. -2 for every player who used to be terrible while on your team
2. -4 for every player who was bad on your team and suddenly good on this team
3. -8 for a team who has beaten you in the postseason (last 50 years)
4. -5 for a team who had beef with your team last year (can apply outstanding beefs if merited)
5. -3 for every cocky, whiny, or red-assed player or manager
6. -10 for division or town rival
7. -3 for a recent world series win (last ten years)
8. -1 for Yankees, Red Sox, Dodgers, Cubs
9. -6 for a team payroll over $110,000,000
10. -4 for publicized breaking of unwritten baseball rules
If your at the game.
1. -5 for an attendance of under 25,000 (only effects home teams)
2. +5 for an attendance over 35,000 (only effects home teams)
3. -4 for a shitty ballpark
4. +4 for good vibe (use discretion)
5. -3 for shitty mascots
6. +3 for good mascots
7. -2 for any team copying the Milwaukee sausage race (looking at you Washington)
8. +2 for any time a visiting team’s fan gets heckled (in a reasonable way)
9. -1 for every doller you pay OVER the price you usually pay in your home ballpark for anything (peanuts, shirts, soda, pretzels)
10. +1 for every doller you pay UNDER the price you usually pay in your home ballpark for anything (brats, beer, tickets, parking)
11. -10 for every time someone gets projectile vomited on or sung to homophobicly
…….
OK now your done…
What’s the score….?
That’s who your rooting for….. unless the game is over already.
