Giants Midnight Replay

commentary on the sf giants from 2907 miles away

Stress

I have been stressed lately. Getting finished with my finals, switching jobs, eating a lot of pizza, and watching the Giants….. all of these things stress me out. I want to say that my “magical vacation” to Chicago to see friends and the Giants play at Wrigley Field was a cloud of fun and relaxation, but it really was just more stress. I will fill those blanks in with a post when I get a chance. For now I am wallowing in a couple of stress free days. Now all that stresses me out are the Giants. Why did I even dream that this win would be an easy one?

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The Omar Vizquel defensive inside play of the game goes to:

Nate Schierholtz for making an absolutely balls to the wall flying catch to end the game. If he missed the ball we lose. Flat out spectacular!

The Eugenio Velez defensive mishap of the night goes to:

Miguel Tejada, sure he made an amazing dive to get the ball but how much does that mean when you almost throw it away…. at this point I know I am being petty, the guy is getting better. 

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The Jack Donaghy (hero) award goes to:

Madison Bumgarner, how do you win your first game, hit a double and suppress the hell out of the opposing batters. Madison went all beast-mode on the dodgers today, I’m impressed. 

The Devon Banks (goat) award goes to:

Police people. I know I know, I am suppose to welcome safety to the ballpark right? nah, this just looks like a my house after the kegger I threw in high school got broken up. 

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more stuff:

Fontenot gets the scoring started!

The absolute meanest Pablo face I have ever seen. Awesome!

When you can’t win you just go after the batters I guess. 

I love that look that pitchers have when they can’t believe that they just gave up a hit. 

Soooo close to his first shutout. zoiks. bummer moment here. 

I probably should have giving Fontenot the Velez award today, but I just couldn’t. I like the guy too much. 

Usually a good sign, if you have two outs in the ninth, not today. Brian needs to take a day or two to heal that ankle. 

That is the second batter that got hit tonight. just saying…

Who is this guy? and what has he done with the old crappy Tejada? No joke, let’s pay some respect to a guy who seems to be turning it around. I really do want to root for you buddy, just give me a reason. 

Take notes Darren Ford, this is the only way you are going to make the bigs. 

Posted in madison bumgarner nate schierholtz Mike Fontenot omar vizquel eugenio velez Miguel tejada Jack Donaghy Dodgers Devon Banks Cops Pablo Sandoval andres torres Brian Wilson | 6 notes
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Almost Too Easy

I don’t like Jackie Robinson day. I always turn the game on and think that the Giants have changed their jerseys. It always takes me about an inning to realize that everyone is wearing the same number. So here is Matt Cain, winning his first game as #42.

I am feeling something with Cain this year, as if he is going to do something great. I have felt this for about three years now. But the better he gets….. the more you think it. If I thought he was on track to do something special last year (which he did) then this year I have to assume the same. 

Year of the Cain……..?       I guess we’ll see. 

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The Omar Vizquel Defensive Wizardry Award Goes to: 

Gotta give props where they are deserved. Kelly Johnson made a pretty nice play on this “almost” bloop single. 

The Velez Award for Ball Bobbling Goes to:

Since this was an error free game I am going to put my favorite screenshot from last season up. 

ooooh lord I love this photo!!!! hahahahahahahahaha

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The W. Mark Felt Award (hero) goes to: 

Matt Cain, the guy is a beast. What more can I say about this guy?

The Richard Nixon Award (villain) goes to:

Again…… I can’t think of any…… This game was really really well played and kinda boring. I was going to say Jose Lopez for making Wilson come into the game, but… nah, he’s too good. No villain today…. So I will go with another classic Giants Villain Photo for those who know……

Mr. Poetry in motion…. The perfect Villain. 

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More Stuff

Pablo continues his beastly run. If he knew where the strike zone was he could hit .400 some year. 

I should have put the picture of Rowand’s strike out hat trick right here, but this picture has Rowand’s future replacement in it….. can you guess who it is?

Tejada is swinging a nice club right now. 3 hits. 

Call me a second guesser, but I don’t see why Ford or Schierholtz was not in right field at this point. This is the 5th or 6th inning. It was 5-0, Just felt like we had wrapped it up by then. 

Pretty lucky brake here, after a Pablo gone fishing strike-out Huff was hung out at least 8 feet.

Pablo is tearing it up over at the hot corner, I feel like I put a picture of his defensive plays in almost all my posts so far. (although he didn’t get the runner)

“Guuuuuyyyss…… Hey guuuuuuyyys…… I’m over here wait for meeeeee” says temporarily lost Aaron Rowand

I know that Fontenot didn’t really contribute in this game, but I just wanted to point out again that I am rooting for him and that the day that I didn’t do a game wrap he totally killed the ball and won the game for us. Love this guy!

I wonder if Darren Ford got his ring today? I really want to see this guy up in the bigs this year. 

I like how all the Arizona fans have given this guy a 4 seat radius…. I’ve seen some pretty terrible beards this year, this one is pretty epic. 

Wilson kisses the imaginary ring…… just a note. Anyone notice that Wilson now has matching orange (home) and grey (away) cleats? pretty legit. 

Posted in matt cain brian wilson pablo sandoval tejada darren ford velez omar vizquel huff fontenot rowand armando benitez | 12 notes
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This is How to Lose at Baseball

This whole game wasn’t a total loss. There were some sweet moments. The only one I remember was Uribe crying when he got his ring. Which was a nice moment for him and the fans. But you have to think about this…. does Uribe get this moment if Stow doesn’t get beat up in the parking lot of Dodger Stadium last week? So… in that sense it’s kind of a manufactured moment… right? just weird, but nice. 

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The Omar Vizquel award goes to:

This one will reluctantly go to Madison Bumgarner. He really doesn’t deserve it. But his pickoff of Kershaw at first base was nice to see. It was sneaky and well executed. Even though Kershaw looked like he made it back to me. (again…. the fucking umps)

The Velez Award goes to:

oh my so many to choose from tonight. Where to begin. I guess this will have to go to Pat the Brick with his weighty brick glove and no-body defense in left field. You must put your body in front of the ball. He made and ass of himself out there. Also where the hell is the Rowand to back him up when the ball gets past him. uuuuugh

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The Sherlock Holmes Award (Hero) goes to:

….No…….. you know what…… I ain’t giving this award to anyone. No one deserved it today. 

The Professor Moriarty Award (goat) goes to: 

The Umps. They just straight up got it wrong during this game, bad strike calls, bad non-calls, bad base-path calls. Just bad game all around, I wonder if there is a rotation of umps that make sure that we get good umps once in a while or does the NL West just get a bunch of cast-off garbage?

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More Garbage.


Bumgarner’s throw was too slow over to first base and Kemp’s Steal turned into a run shortly after.

Sanchez has a rare dropped ball, of course it happens now, just like everything else. 


This is all you need to know about tonight’s umps…… This was called a strike. I’m not joking…. and….


This was called a ball two batters later…… NOT JOKING.


Rod Barrajas ruined my fucking night last year. I was working at my job in Manhattan, and ran out after work to catch the last part of the Giants and Mets game. I took the 7 train all the way out to Queens to see if I could get into the stadium late. It was the 8th inning and I found a $5 ticket from a scalper. I ran in, through the oddly out of place Jackie Robinson pavilion and up the stairs. I found my girlfriend who had been there the entire game, she was standing in the walkway behind 3rd base. We watched the last three innings standing there. They went to extras and after a couple of scoreless innings Rod “mutha-fauckin” Barrajas hits a walk off home run to crush night. He did it again tonight, just not as dramatic. 

I didn’t get the chance to screenshot the other two close grounders that got past Tejada, This one got past Sandoval, but I am beginning to lump them together defensively. 

oooooohhh nice picture. ………. actually you know what! I am really getting sick of all the free advertising that Toyota is getting on my blog. If I had some quick way to blot that STUPID Toyota symbol out I would. Like anyone drives a Toyota. Do you know anyone with a Toyota? I don’t. I hate sponsorships. 

Regardless of what the barbarians did to our man Stow in LA, I don’t like to see this kind of unity. It’s like Stephen Colbert breaking character, or Brian Wilson breaking character. It just kinda ruins stuff. Plus if it takes ruining 100+ years of good rivalry to convince San Francisco fans not to ruthlessly savage each other then I am ashamed of everyone. Affeldt and Carroll sounded like my 4th grade teacher out there before the game…… I’m not saying that their message was not correct, I’m just saying that if we need someone talk to us like grade-schoolers, as if we were watching an old PSA on tv, then we need to consider having a “common sense awareness” auction or 5k run.

Jeremy Affeldt starring as……. Your 4th grade substitute teacher. (in your best teacher voice) “ummmm guys,…. hitting each other is bad, and I don’t think you should do it anymore” …….. I mean come on, everyone knows those dudes in LA are degenerates who probably never even finished 4th grade. I just can’t believe it came to this, Affeldt telling me to be nice. uuuugh, my life is moving backwards. 

oh god,….. on the flip side….. I am glad that Carroll didn’t get straight up booed. It was pretty brave of him to even get near the mic at AT&T park. 

Sure Brandon is struggling. But there is something in his face when he is swinging at all those bad pitches that scares me even more. Between swings he looks  contemplatively at his bat. He will furrow his brow and wipe some imaginary April sweat from it. He has the face that I had back in the 8th grade when I had just done amazingly while playing the lead role of Tom Sawyer in the first half of the play we were putting on that year. Only to realize that I had a whole other half to go and I had seriously slacked off on the memorizing part of the latter half of the play. I stumbled around some lines, made a blowfish face with my mouth, looked at the ground, looked at my frantic teacher mrs. (forgot name) who was mouthing ghost words in my direction……. Just shear panic. That’s what this face means to me. 

And of course it wouldn’t be a real Giants game without a late meaningless solo home run. Thanks Pat Burrell. 

Gee Shucks guys! Let’s go get’em tomorrow…….. or we can just get steamrolled like we did today, what the hell!

Posted in uribe stow sf giants burrell pat burrell pablo sandoval Miguel tejada freddy sanchez omar vizquel Velez Brandon Belt Bumgarner dodgers affeldt jamey carroll | 49 notes
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Bummed-garner

How many more games will we lose like this? That is the real question. But the bigger question is, are the Giants playing with any kind of heart? Cause it doesn’t really seem like it. Are they playing with a fire on their asses? No. And for some reason, I feel like Tejada does not help…. I don’t know why I relate the signing of Tejada to a weird sense of complacency among the players during the game. He seems like a professional player. He seems like he is well respected. But to be honest I sensed an edge among the players last year. A “fuck you” attitude that they don’t seem to have now. 

It’s just what I am seeing, what I’m feeling. I want the “fuck you” attitude back. 

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The Omar Award goes to:

Buster Posey, followed up a strikeout with a gun to third to get the base stealer and complete a double play. 

The Velez Award goes to:

Madison Bumgarner for throwing the ball behind his back in what would have ended the 3rd inning but instead gave up a run. 

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The Garfield Award (Hero) goes to: 

 Strangely I am giving this to Mota… He came in and effectively saved our bullpen. I thought I would never ever give him any kind of award….. But here it is. Also he took an AB, which was kinda sad. 

The Odie Award (Goat) goes to:

I’m going with the umpire, who consistently called a strike on the outside part of the plate for Harang but not for Bumgarner. This also could have gotten us out of the third inning. 

This is the one that was called on Buster, which killed our rally. 


This is the one they didn’t call for Bumgarner.

And here’s one final bad call for Buster Posey even when Hundley drops the ball he calls a ludicrous strike three.


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I took the liberty of making a schedule for the Giants tomorrow. 

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Bonus Crap:

Pablo flashing some leather. 

The seats I wish that I had. 

J. Sanchez and Timmy were working some voodoo on their hats during today’s game. 

I don’t know, but it looks like Pablo got the tag down. 

Blooped to death in SD

The best part of our lineup right now. 

Tejada actually got to this one. He spun and made a terrific throw to get the runner. I have to give credit where credit is deserved. 

I want to see more of this from Pablo, patience at the plate!

Can’t really believe this play, Pablo walks, then he tries to steal 2nd and was out by….. 5 to 6 feet

ohhh, and Brandon Belt is not hitting that well….. just saying. 

Posted in buster posey sf giants padres omar velez Bumgarner Pablo Sandoval | 17 notes
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There Will Be Blood

I tried…. I tried REALLY hard to save the Zito stache phenomenon until I could do a “This Week In Giants Facial Hair” post…. But it’s not possible, it was on full display tonight. This shapely “Nose Mullet” is THE nicest I have seen on a pitching mound since Clay Zavada. Can you attribute Zito’s future dominance to his new “Tom Selleck”? That would be a resounding YES! Is it a major reason why the Giants won 4 to 1 tonight? YES!

Zito I am your eternal fan if you keep the stache! I take back all the bad things I said about you. I will forget the fact that your an emotional wreck with a philosophical attachment to surfboards and other self-absorbed-beach culture douchiness.

Keep the “Plainview” Barry, if you know what is good for you. 

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The Kafka Tamura Award (Hero) goes to: 

Pablo Sandoval for the 38 lbs lighter defensive show he put on in the 4th inning. Pablo also got the first RBI of the night.

The Johnnie Walker Award (Villain) goes to: 

Gio Gonzalez, cause you gotta recognize greatness! This guy is a beast straight up! I would not be surprised if he wins a Cy Young at some point soon.

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The Omar Vizquel award goes to:  

Pat Burrell, There isn’t many times where I can give the award to him. So I gotta do it when I can. Nice Catch Burrell, nice catch. 

The Velez Award goes to:

Andy LaRoche was having a bad day all around. He had a wide throw to first base on a double play chance, and also this bungled ball. 

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Extra goodness. 

OMG these guys are insane homers! I am so happy to have our broadcasters, every time something doesn’t go their way its “NOOOOO” from the fucking peanut gallery. 

Hey look…  smiles!

Coco smiles!

Exhibition game smiles!

Game face bitches!

Zito was about 11 inches away from giving up his 1 run lead early.

Holy crap, DeRosa has a HUGE backside! Just sayin…… just sayin…

DeRosa’s big ass is slowing him down on this foul pop-up.

As much as I hate Panda hats, imagine if this was your only hat choice. Actually imagine if that was your job, making like 2,000 ballon hats. 

Don’t forget the little guy’s contribution an RBI double in the 7th. Fontenot is another player that is better than Rowand

A missed sign gets Andy Laroche into a “Fun”-down in the 5th.

I swear if Schierholtz loses his job and Rowand keeps his I will be pretty irrate. Two batters after Rowand waved frantically at a high pitch Nate blasts this one deep into center field.

Tomorrow I will post my season “Preview”.

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This one…… means nothing.

 

Cain laughing on the mound…. after a year of taking screenshots, I have NEVER seen this. 

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The Aaron Burr Award (hero) goes to Aubrey Huff who turned early (get it…. Aaron Burr, turned early… haha…. cause Aaron Burr turned around early in the duel………. come on guys read some history books geez) on a high Brett Anderson pitch deep into the night.

 

The Alexander Hamilton Award (goat) goes to Brett Anderson for two reasons. 1. Hitting Pablo with a high inside pitch (not cool). 2. But most especially for this! I don’t care what you do man…. you gotta take a swing, or at least step up to the plate and act like your gonna swing. 

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Omar Vizquel Award goes to: 

Pablo who made all three plays in the ninth. A sharply hit ball, a ground out, and a crazy foul out to end the game. 

The Eugenio Velez Award goes to:

Forgot this guy’s name….. But he took a bad route. hahaha

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Some random fun. 


Synchronized pop up dance. 



Brett Anderson’s box placement. 


More Synchronized fielding. 


When hick pitchers attack.


Best shot of the night, dude spills his bear everywhere while scrambling for Huff’s hr. 


There where 38 thousand people there this year. Last year, there was THIS many!!!


Good turn-around guys. 

Posted in sf giants Oakland A's pablo sandoval brett anderson velez vizquel matt cain huff | 19 notes
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This Week In Giants Facial Hair. (#3)

What sets men apart from boys…. besides being able to buy beer? Men can grow facial hair, ok…. men can bring gnarly amounts of hair to the surface of their faces. Let us sit and celebrate, mock, and marvel over the facial hair of your San Francisco Giants. 

Latest & Greatest

What’s going on in this picture? What Ishi is bringing to the table might just be a more molded and extended version of what he had before.

 But to me it is looking more like a facial hair style that has been unofficially banned from the Giants clubhouse……. More specifically THIS ONE:

 

Yes… I said it… “The Velez” has been officially baned from the clubhouse. Also…. Yes I AM trying to mention Velez in EVERY blog I do. 

Also it looks like Cody Ross is keeping the World Series beard. I see no evidence of him having one before last year. 

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Best Facial Hair of The Year …. (so far)

I just picked up a copy of this on Saturday…. This mustache makes me weep with joy. Sadly the scum-stash is gone…… hopefully not forever. 

Worst Facial Hair This Year…. (so far)

Hands down Jeremy Affeldt has had and currently has the worst facial hair ever. It straight up reminds me of a vagina.

Please Jeremy…. listen to reason… it looks terrible. Your a decent looking guy, but your ruining it with that landing strip. Stop…. please. 

Look at him during his Reds days… so much better. 

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There has been a lot of hair sticking out all over the field lately. Sometimes when I’m looking at a player I can see the hair sticking out behind from behind their neck. My hair used to be like that. (no I don’t have pics). I’ve noticed Pippen rocking an inordinate amount of hair lately. Just a huge mane back-flowing out the neck, pretty epic. But if he doesn’t watch out it he could be visited by the mullet fairy one night. 


Newcomer Culberson has been rocking the same hair wad. It’s as if they have an exhaust pipe out the back of their heads and a cloud of brown smoke got petrified on the way out.  

But when you can see a BEARD coming out the sides of a neck from BEHIND. THAT is EPIC. 

Congrats Brian…. your beard has passed the “fully epic” stage. 

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Random Scruff

Rowand, rocking his boxy scruff, a stupid smirk, his gamer stains. Too bad you can’t see it, cause his head is waaaaay up his ass. 

The only thing about Whiteside’s scruff is that it might be the only part of his hair that is not FULLY grey. It’s a small island of youth still clinging to his chin. 

Pablo….. This looks bad. either go for a beard, a mustache, or nothing. 

Scruff to the future?

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See You Latos

 

Giants win 6 to 4….. BUT I don’t care what happened the rest of the game. We got Latos for four runs in the first. And that makes me happy. 

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Last year while working at my old place of employment I had a running dialog with one of my co-workers Sinclair, who just happened to be a Boston Red Sox fan. It was around this time last year and the Giants were killing it in spring training. I was listening to all the games since it had been a long off season. Every day I would trudge through the snow on my way to serve skinny lattes to god-awful Carroll Gardens dwellers. But every day I had one more victory to goad about when I got to work. Finally when spring training was almost over I was once again rubbing the Giants spring training record in Sinclair’s face…. I remember him saying… ” You know they don’t hand out rings for winning the Cactus League” ……”Don’t they……” I said “Don’t they”… At that point….sure…. I was full of shit. But I did add…”we’ll see”. 

I quit that job, it was a nightmare. My boss was am overbearing lady with no real experience with running a coffee shop. I left for greener pastures, my friend Sinclair stayed there and eventually became manager. I came back to visit him after the Giants won the world series, naturally and reminded Sinclair of our conversation. 

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The Tony Soprano Award goes to: LBR OK OK, I know that I debated a nickname for Fontenot last week, but man he CRUSHED that ball tonight. So I will call him Little Babe Ruth….. just for today
 
The Mikey Palmice Award goes to: Mat Latos because Palmice acted like a whiney bitch and so does Latos sometimes. 

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    The Omar Vizquel Award goes to: Pablo Sandoval

I know he was charged with two errors but he was PICKIN it tonight!

 

    The Eugenio Velez Award goes to:

Burriss….. Sorry Burriss, I know the ground is hard and the hops in spring training are weird, but you gotta make one of those two plays. 

  

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A couple of players broke out of their slumps tonight. Good for you cabbage patch kid!

 

Rowand: “Yeah… I think this strange appendage hanging out of my right shoulder is what is wrong with my swing”

Bochy: “uuuuuhh……. I think that’s your arm”

Rowand: “ya that thing”

 

dude…. look how short Fontenot is compared to the ump…. thats crazy!

 

They Finnerty’s in NYC where my girlfriend and I watched the game, I thought it would be cool to snap a screenshot when they showed it on TV. Turns out that both of us are in it. I’m wearing the Giants hat on the lower left corner with the beard, and my girl is in front of me in the beanie. Yay, that about 1:30 of my 15 minutes already used up.

 

Bobbles:

Pablo get eaten up at the hot corner

Daigle is killing me, he always comes in late and blows meaningless games, which I don’t really care about, but it makes the game drag on and on! “Dude… You forgot the ball”

Raj “So you got a hit….. That’s good”

Rowand ………………………..(crickets)……………………

Brandon Belt, snaps out of his “slump” with this hit. 

Kevin Frandsen is a cute puppy who wants to snuggle in your armpit. 

Here’s to you skinny Pablo

Yeah… Little Babe Ruth…… just for today. 

After hitting a ball to the fence in dead center Brandon Crawford tries to bolster his chances at the coveted KFGPA (Kevin Frandsen Memorial Golden Puppy Award)


Posted in Brandon Crawford Mike Fontenot pablo sandoval kevin frandsen Brandon Belt aaron rowand Finnerty's Eli Whiteside emmanuel burriss Velez omar vizquel mat latos sf giants padres
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Minor Victories

Patrick hits one out opposite field. 

There is something about spring training games that do not lend to television. The absence of the crowd, the lack of real lighting on the field, and the terrible black spring training jerseys that do nothing to help the viewer pick the player out of the background of sad local advertisements and night sky. There is something inherently not as exciting about the Pat Burrell home run than if he hit it while wearing home creams or road grays.

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With that said.

Data (hero) of the game:

• Cody Ross for breaking it open with a 2-run double.

Lore (goat) of the game:

Yorvit Torrealba…. WTF, how does this lifetime .257 hitter seem to be on every team we play, and hit everything that we throw him?

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Velez Award goes to:

• Daigle for dropping a routine comebacker that he had gloved and was walking over to flip to Belt. 

….. It could have gone to Pablo for this, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt since the infield is probably getting hard. 

 

The Omar Award goes to:

• Burriss and DeRosa for turning a fancy double play. 

 

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Random Screenshots.

Skinny Pablo says……… this is for you Texas

 

Caveman

 

The Maestro speaks

Caveman….. pickin boogers

 

Cody getting a great read on the ball

Buh-Bye-Burrell

BTW… Whuuuuut Pablo steals a base?!

Posted in pat burrell cody ross omar vizquel eugenio velez sf giants Torrealba brandon belt pablo sandoval | 3 notes
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Pablo Lost Three Cats

 

As someone who has recently lost 15 pounds in the last three months, I can fully appreciate Pablo Sandoval’s recent loss of 38 pounds and 11 percentage points of body fat. Altogether a rough estimate of his actual fat loss being around 45lbs. I assure you that this is almost impossible unless you have been pounding an extra 10+ Coca Colas or maybe eating another four Arepas per day. The first 10 lbs (maybe 20 with Pablo) comes rolling off when you start to work out. The next ten is depressingly impossible. You can run 5 miles a day and eat hardly anything and still only lose about 2 lbs a week. For anyone who has never tried this I would like to give you a little more perspective. Pablo in the last 3 months has lost:

- This many cats worth of weight. 

 

- This whole fish worth of weight. 

 

- THREE of these Big Burgers worth of weight. 

 

- 30 cartons of eggs worth of weight. 

   thanks fotolia!

- 135 baseballs worth of weight. 

 

- This much weed worth of weight. 

 

and finally just to tie this back to San Francisco - Six and a half of these burritos worth of weight. 

 

Basically Pablo lost one of his own legs worth of weight. ….Wait…. a three legged Pablo might actually prove to be valuable. 

 

Any way that you look at it Pablo busted his ass off this offseason. I dare anyone who hasn’t tried to lose 10 lbs in a month. You might gain that much more respect for what Pablo has pulled off. 

Now let’s hope that this version of Pablo, 

 

Can swing a bat like 2009 Pablo did.

Posted in Pablo Sandoval fat Pablo Sandoval weight loss Pablo Sandoval thin Pablo sandoval | 2 notes
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