Giants Midnight Replay

The Kevin Frandsen Memorial, Golden Puppy Award Candidates

Last year I branded Kevin Fransen “a lovable puppy”. Now I want to make it a tradition. I intend to give the KFMGPA (Kevin Frandsen Memorial Golden Puppy Award) to a new player every year. The requirements are:

• They receive way more attention specifically from the female contingent of fans than is proportionate to how good they are. (aka. girls think they are “hot”)

• They are not a super star. (Sorry Buster, and Timmy)

• They kind of look like they are a puppy.

• They are not super intelligent (sounds like all ball players are safe here).

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Here are the candidates.

#1. Alex Hinshaw

While Hinshaw might have looks that could mow down a 14 year old wearing a Noah Lowry shirt, his low 90s fastball has a hard time even getting past your average bat. Which I suppose makes him a perfect candidate.

Girlfriend says: Hinshaw gets….. 3.5 Steve Finley’s out of 5 possible Steve Finley’s

#2. Thomas Neal

Better known as @Tdaddyneal on twitter, is taking the social network path into the hearts of female San Francisco fans.

Girlfriend says: ….. 2 Steve Finley’s out of the possible 5.

#3. Brandon Belt

Don’t let that docile southern drawl draw you in ladies. This guy crushes ladies and baseballs. Aside from this guy’s non-neck he is in the clear lead so far.

Girlfriend Says:……. 3.75 Steve Finley’s out of 5

#4. Emmanuel Burriss

Burriss is on track to smash the modern day SF Giants record for “guy you see the most that never plays”. But again, it’s that babyface that make you think he’s never been taken out at 2nd on a double play breakup. Now if he could only keep his fragile feet from breaking he would be about as useful to the Giants as the guy who we named this award after. (just kidding burriss, we love you man)

Girlfriend Says:… 3 Steve Finley’s out of a possible 5 Mcdreamy’s

#5 Nate Schierholtz

Are you kidding me…… The keeper of the key to most abs in baseball, proves that the only thing he is lacking is some hair on his dome and a decent shot at becoming more than a defensive replacement. Just look at those fucking abs!!!!

Girlfriend Says: 3.25 Steve Finley’s out of 5 Steve Finley’s

Wild Card…..

Brandon Crawford..

I’m throwing this guy in the mix cause…. crazy girl attracting eyes + Minor League Talent = Kevin Frandsen 2.0

Girlfriend Says: …….. sorry….. she went to sleep.

Time to honor past winners.

2008, 2009 and 2010 KFMGPA goes to: The original Golden Puppy himself, Kevin Frandsen

2007 KFMGPA goes to: Noah Lowry…….. retroactively

Ok … everyone vote, or I will have to just pick one.

Ex-Giants Survivors From the 2006 Shipwreck

That would be Randy Winn with his first (and probably only) HR this year to help CC get a win in the Bronx on Monday night. Randy is hitting .125 with 14 ABs.

Not sure if you remember this ugly mug…. it’s Jamey Wright who is still inducing DPs for the team in Cleveland. He is in relief with a 4.91 ERA in 11 IP.

I think we all know this guy. Here is F.Lew dropping his first bomb of the season but with a cute little red maple leaf on his jersey this time. He is hitting .250 with 57 PA.

The older more bearded version of what a lot of Giants fans dubbed “WORST TRADE EVER!!!” Now I am not saying that Shea Hillenbrand was anything special or that he is even playing baseball still, but I don’t see Accardo having a spot in our bullpen with his, 8.10 ERA (no wonder they didn’t want to show it on the on-screen graphic) in 6.2 innings pitched. oh ya and he has not pitched in a winning effort all season..

Great News Everyone!!!! Kevin Frandsen has found a new home. He got picked up by The Angels of Los Angeles and Anaheim and has now is 7 for 15 in AAA Salt Lake, after being claimed off waivers. 

oh ya here is a little bonus……

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Everyone’s favorite whipping boy has landed on everyone’s favorite whipping team. Tyler “I can sweat anywhere” Walker has also not pitched in a winning effort (i guess that’s not that big of a suprise considering) yet. I bet the southeastern humidity has really fucked with Tyler this year. Here he is pitching in Florida…… poor bastard. To his credit he still has a pretty great pick off move.

ok I hope everyone has enjoyed the nostalgia with me. 

Kevin Frandsen…… A Tribute

The Giants lost 1000 female fans today. Millions of Kevin Frandsen shirts will now be used to wipe up spills in the kitchen instead of barely covering some female Giants fan’s bosom. Getting shipped off to Boston is not the same kind of doom that getting shipped off to the Pirates is, but he will probably sniff more bench in bean-town than in say a town like…… Kansas City. 

Either way here’s to Mr. Frandsen, who holds the record for selling more Major League shirseys than any other Career Minor Leaguer ever. In other news The San Francisco Giants just got a lot uglier.

Anyways in remembrance, I am posting a couple of his best moments as a Giant. 

Goooooooood Frandsen…….. oh yes THATS a GOOOOOOD FRANNY WANNY!!!! 

GOOD BOY….. YES YOU ARE YOUR A GOOD BOY!!!! 

here’s another one where he really helped the team out!

OHHHH THATS A GOOD CATCH FRANDSEN!!!! ATTA BOY…… NOW GO FETCH THIS FRISBEE IN BOSTON.

A word to The Red Sox…… If you want to get the best production out of Kevin Frandsen you kinda have to treat him well. Well darn here’s a video that might help you in your Kevin Frandsen experience. 

Goodbye Buddy. You’ve been loyal…. I guess that’s all we could have asked for.

40 Giants in 37 days

Kevin Frandsen

How will he do this year?

ahhhhhh goooood Frandsen……ohhhhh THATS a GOOOD Frandsen! ….. oh yes you are! yes you are! your such a good Frandsen. Come here and give me a smooooochy wooochy, my little smoochy bear! oh oh oh you little stinkie Frandsen……. YES YES you are such a silly little Frandsen! Go fetch!

Do I like the guy?

ok ok I admit it. I kinda am rooting for Kevin Frandsen….. there I said it. 

Would I hang out with him?

At Dolores Park with a frisbee, hells yes!

Will he have an essential part on the 2010 Giants.

SIT….. SIT…..nooooooo…. SIT…. ok now play dead…… ohhhhhh thats such a good Frandsen. YES YOU ARE!!!!! ooooooooohhh YES YOU ARE….. NOOOOO………. NOT YET………SIT!!!   NOW BEG!….. goooood doggie…. Fransden. 

The SF Giants breed a VERY special kind of mediocre. And if that were a prize at a dog show………… you can guess who would win.