Giants Midnight Replay

The Meat Grinder

The meat grinder continues to grind. …..(wow, john miller just said meat grinder when I was typing that!) ….. I just think that Meat Grinder is the perfect nickname for Aaron Rowand. He is obviously a serious Lunk Head (aka.. he is dumb as the dirt that he is standing on) but he has some sort of strange Lennie Small qualities. He is admirable because of his single mindedness. Maybe he is kind to small animals and raises pigeons or something. I can see him trying to relate to some sort of life form who has the same intellect level as him. (wow that was harsh, sorry if you’re some sort of intellectual Rowand). He is a grinder, we all know that. But a sort of inadequate small grinder that you have to hand crank. Hence the name…. Meat (cause he’s dumb) and Grinder (cause grinding is all he knows).. Take it or leave it, the bastard really helped us tonight…. strangely. 

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The Omar Vizquel Defensive Achievement Award goes to: 

Tim Lincecum for the play that will most likely be on all the highlight shows, getting hit by the ball, running after it, and sliding very similarly like a play he made last year, and throwing the runner out at first. Tremendous play, enjoyable to watch. 

The Velez Terrible Defense Award goes to:

Brandon Belt, kicking a roller to first when you have runners on the corners is not a good way to break out of a slump. Brandon did take some fly balls in right before the game though. …….. so there’s that.

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The Holden Caulfield Award (hero) goes to:

Brian Wilson striking out the 9th. Brian is the Keystone (not the beer) in the cathedral that is the 2011 Giants. We are building on the fact that we can count on him to slam a door in the faces of our foes. Wilson needed this, so did the Giants, and so did we.

The Phonies Award (goat) goes to:

Juan Uribe for being a bitch after getting hit by Lincecum. Please dude. We just gave you a big fat expensive ring……. just take your base. You don’t have to tell the ump that Tim has hit you before. Don’t be an idiot, it was a 3-2 pitch. 

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Extra Stuff

oh…. this is kinda a nice look! I like this.

Ya… actually Kemp.. this is almost in the strike zone, what are you doing the limbo for?

Another epic gun-down by Posey. This one is Mostly Timmy’s doing with his new and improved “release time” out of the stretch. 

I know Bochy put this hit and run on….. but oooooh man this looks bad. Tejada got thrown out by soo much that he could have made a run down out of it. 

Can’t believe Pablo hit a double swinging at this pitch. This guy can be amazing. 

There was a LLF sighting (Little Lord Fontenot) unfortunately he has made little of his very limited playing time this year with a 0-9. I’m still rooting for you buddy. 

I’ve seen Zito roaming the dugout 5 or six times this season when he was not pitching. He is always wearing his hat like this…. It reminds me of the farmers who used to plow the fields around where I grew up in the Central Valley (Exeter). He also reminds me of some kind of western town sheriff. 

How annoying is that fan… the one in red who is walking in front row. Think about throwing down that much money for tickets and then it’s the 7th inning, it’s tied game, with a runner on 3rd. The 1-1 pitch is coming to potentially change the game and some total fucking retarded asshole is like “hey… um excuse me… um pardon me…. um… just trying to get to my seats…. umm sorry… just had to get some garlic fries…. meeep … haha…. excuse me…  umm pardon….” SERIOUSLY!!!! Don’t even come to the fucking game, if you don’t know how NOT to ruin the game for others then cheer from your fucking house. STAY HOME!!!

Ouch! Nate doesn’t even wear protection on his hands in this weather. 

This clown…….

And this clown…. on the other hand, have to wear two different versions of the October flap hat just to stay warm……. pussies!

I figured that I would put this picture in there. My cat Truman is an essential part of my baseball viewing experience. 

Just Stopping By For a Ring…. (Outgoing Male)

Non-tendered

1. Chris Ray

This guy deserves a ring the least out of these players. The Mariners will be his 4th team in 5 years. That must feel strange, winning a World Series then just moving on. And like that the last remaining parts of Bengie Molina are gone. (one small tear).

2. Eugenio Velez

Wearer of silly road jerseys, man of many nicknames, fan whipping boy and crusher of meaningless homeruns. If Eugenio will be missed, then he will be missed for pure entertainment value. A sad clown in the outfield, a bumbler of balls on the infield. So long stickman. This is one Giant that I will not mind seeing in Blue next year. Also on a side note. It is totally unfair that a player like Velez will get a ring and a player like Omar Vizquel will not….. just saying. 

Sold Out

3. Juan Uribe. 

Oh…. Hello Mr, “used to be my favorite player!”… Let me tell you something. If you win a World Series with a team on Nov. 1st….. Then by the END OF THE MONTH… you are signing a contract with their rival of A HUNDRED AND TWENTY YEARS!!!! … That ain’t cool dog. That’s like splitting a 4 pack of condoms between two girlfriends. (kinda). Why did you do that man? Not cool! I will not cheer for you when you come back! Show some damn loyalty! You have already earned $19,072,000 before you signed the Dodgers contract………… You know what…. forget it….. Enjoy the ring, have fun in the worst town on earth. I can only hope that your contract plays out like Jason Schmidt’s did. 

I’m just kidding Juan…. I’ll miss the hell out of you. Goodbye Jazz Hands. 

4. Edgar Renteria

ohhh snap, I totally forgot about this guy… No seriously, I completely forgot about him. I posted this post without even thinking about him. But let’s be honest. Did anyone ever like this guy while he was here? I hated the signing from day one. Who needs an old ass shortstop soaking up 18 million dollars while playing poorly and getting injured frequently. 

So great he hit a home run that won us a World Series. But he also had the nerve to shoo a million dollars away like a pesky fly. That, in my book is Renteria showing his true colors. A million dollars WTF! Get lost ass hole. I will work the rest of my life and never make a million dollars. Good riddance. 

Dear Mr. Uribe….

In the last 2 series Juan Uribe has been switching up the style, going the whole Rockies series in the awesome “Neukom” socks and playing the whole Marlins series with the long pajama pants jersey. 

At first I was going to make a huge point about how the Neukom socks made Uribe a better hitter. But after looking at the numbers it is only a slight improvement over the pajama pants style. In the end I just decided that it looks better. For what it is worth here are the numbers. 

Notice how even players from the opposing team embarrass themselves trying to get close to this amazing new fashion trend. 

With the sweet socks.

AB 12

Runs 2

Hits 2

RBI 5

K’s 1 

LOB 2

HR 1

Notice in this picture the Marlins player has already prepared his left hand with a “bad baseball fashion” shield against Uribe’s (and his own) pair of baseball pajama pants. 

Without sweet socks.

AB 14,

Runs 1

Hits 2

RBI 2

LOB 7

K’s 4

Listen up baseball……this is the point that I am making. 

 … is to … 

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  is to  

Just saying…… one is trashy ……. one is classy

My Favorite Player

Sometimes when I come home to visit my parents in Auburn, CA I get to visit my mother’s 6th grade class in North Sacramento where she teaches. I usually come into her class and she interviews me, this is a way for her to show me off as some sort of travelled guru. It’s nice it makes me feel less like I am 30 and have never had a real job, and more like a I am a super interesting young adult specimen who is taking his time figuring out what he wants to do. AAANNNNNNYWAYS

The subject of my living briefly in SF came up, and I told the kids that I was obsessed with baseball and in particular the Giants. 

Naturally, one of the students raised his hand and asked me who my favorite player was. 

Strangely I was stumped. I kinda balked at saying Lincecum when I realized that that would be untrue, then I had to really think about it. ….. in my mind it had to be a Giant, and there are few REALLY interesting players (thats the sort that I like). Pablo is an easy answer, and I like him and he was probably my favorite player recently. BUT, then I thought, well Juan Uribe is actually one of my favorites just because of the way he carries himself and the way he swings the bat. I love Bengie because he plays with his heart on his sleeve, and If like Matt Cain for his quiet dominance…….

I blurted out Pablo Sandoval and Juan Uribe, but honestly I think that was a lie. When I really think about it, my favorite player that is still playing (because if we are talking about all time it would be Will Clark) is Omar Vizquel.

The 2 1/2 years that I got to see him play were the two years that I really started to be obsessed again. The way Omar plays is magic. He is simply THE most interesting and fundamentally sound player that I have ever seen. Sure he had a weak bat, but hitting isn’t everything. 

Here’s to you Omar.

Juan Uribe Doesn’t Just Strike Out!!!!

He strikes the FUCK out!

Juan’s strikeouts will bring you to your knees (or at least it will bring him to his knees)

A Recap in Screenshots and Garbled Kid Speak

Matt Cain make very stressed face.

Juan Uribe, run run run, tehe

Catcher says “I KICK YOU IN BALLS!!!!!!”

Man in suit says “I PUNCH THE AIR HUYYYYYYYAA”

Aubrey Huff makes the ball stop! YAY no more runs for the bad guys

WHACK! Take that mr. Pitcher I make the ball go towards you with stick.

YAY WE WON! everybody slap hands and SMILE!!!!!!

40 Giants in 37 Days

Ok so there is no chance of me running down everyone on the 40 man before the season starts. I’m just gonna finish it up when I can, sorry.

Juan Uribe

How will he do this season?

That depends entirely on weather Renteria’s slump was actually caused by his elbow. If Renteria continues to roll balls to shortstop then we are going to get a chance to see Uribe. Its almost a fact that Uribe will get his chance to show his power again considering our brittle infield.

Do I like the guy?

Yup. Uribe is the original comedian in the clubhouse. I imagine this guy lighting peoples shoes on fire in the dugout.

Would I hang out with him?

While I find Uribe entertaining I also feel like hanging out with him would at some point include something life-threatening. Driving 100 mph down a freeway with Uribe screaming, laughing, and punching me in the arm, comes to mind as something I could see included in an “afternoon with Uribe.” I’ll just laugh from a distance, thanks.

Will he play an essential role on the 2010 Giants?

For sure, like I said he will be throwing bullets from either SS or 2B for at least half the year.