Giants Midnight Replay

This Week In Giants Facial Hair. (#3)

What sets men apart from boys…. besides being able to buy beer? Men can grow facial hair, ok…. men can bring gnarly amounts of hair to the surface of their faces. Let us sit and celebrate, mock, and marvel over the facial hair of your San Francisco Giants. 

Latest & Greatest

What’s going on in this picture? What Ishi is bringing to the table might just be a more molded and extended version of what he had before.

 But to me it is looking more like a facial hair style that has been unofficially banned from the Giants clubhouse……. More specifically THIS ONE:

Yes… I said it… “The Velez” has been officially baned from the clubhouse. Also…. Yes I AM trying to mention Velez in EVERY blog I do. 

Also it looks like Cody Ross is keeping the World Series beard. I see no evidence of him having one before last year. 

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Best Facial Hair of The Year …. (so far)

I just picked up a copy of this on Saturday…. This mustache makes me weep with joy. Sadly the scum-stash is gone…… hopefully not forever. 

Worst Facial Hair This Year…. (so far)

Hands down Jeremy Affeldt has had and currently has the worst facial hair ever. It straight up reminds me of a vagina.

Please Jeremy…. listen to reason… it looks terrible. Your a decent looking guy, but your ruining it with that landing strip. Stop…. please. 

Look at him during his Reds days… so much better. 

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There has been a lot of hair sticking out all over the field lately. Sometimes when I’m looking at a player I can see the hair sticking out behind from behind their neck. My hair used to be like that. (no I don’t have pics). I’ve noticed Pippen rocking an inordinate amount of hair lately. Just a huge mane back-flowing out the neck, pretty epic. But if he doesn’t watch out it he could be visited by the mullet fairy one night. 

Newcomer Culberson has been rocking the same hair wad. It’s as if they have an exhaust pipe out the back of their heads and a cloud of brown smoke got petrified on the way out.  

But when you can see a BEARD coming out the sides of a neck from BEHIND. THAT is EPIC. 

Congrats Brian…. your beard has passed the “fully epic” stage. 

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Random Scruff

Rowand, rocking his boxy scruff, a stupid smirk, his gamer stains. Too bad you can’t see it, cause his head is waaaaay up his ass. 

The only thing about Whiteside’s scruff is that it might be the only part of his hair that is not FULLY grey. It’s a small island of youth still clinging to his chin. 

Pablo….. This looks bad. either go for a beard, a mustache, or nothing. 

Scruff to the future?

See You Latos

Giants win 6 to 4….. BUT I don’t care what happened the rest of the game. We got Latos for four runs in the first. And that makes me happy. 

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Last year while working at my old place of employment I had a running dialog with one of my co-workers Sinclair, who just happened to be a Boston Red Sox fan. It was around this time last year and the Giants were killing it in spring training. I was listening to all the games since it had been a long off season. Every day I would trudge through the snow on my way to serve skinny lattes to god-awful Carroll Gardens dwellers. But every day I had one more victory to goad about when I got to work. Finally when spring training was almost over I was once again rubbing the Giants spring training record in Sinclair’s face…. I remember him saying… ” You know they don’t hand out rings for winning the Cactus League” ……”Don’t they……” I said “Don’t they”… At that point….sure…. I was full of shit. But I did add…”we’ll see”. 

I quit that job, it was a nightmare. My boss was am overbearing lady with no real experience with running a coffee shop. I left for greener pastures, my friend Sinclair stayed there and eventually became manager. I came back to visit him after the Giants won the world series, naturally and reminded Sinclair of our conversation. 

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The Tony Soprano Award goes to: LBR OK OK, I know that I debated a nickname for Fontenot last week, but man he CRUSHED that ball tonight. So I will call him Little Babe Ruth….. just for today
 
The Mikey Palmice Award goes to: Mat Latos because Palmice acted like a whiney bitch and so does Latos sometimes. 

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    The Omar Vizquel Award goes to: Pablo Sandoval

I know he was charged with two errors but he was PICKIN it tonight!

    The Eugenio Velez Award goes to:

Burriss….. Sorry Burriss, I know the ground is hard and the hops in spring training are weird, but you gotta make one of those two plays. 

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A couple of players broke out of their slumps tonight. Good for you cabbage patch kid!

Rowand: “Yeah… I think this strange appendage hanging out of my right shoulder is what is wrong with my swing”

Bochy: “uuuuuhh……. I think that’s your arm”

Rowand: “ya that thing”

dude…. look how short Fontenot is compared to the ump…. thats crazy!

They Finnerty’s in NYC where my girlfriend and I watched the game, I thought it would be cool to snap a screenshot when they showed it on TV. Turns out that both of us are in it. I’m wearing the Giants hat on the lower left corner with the beard, and my girl is in front of me in the beanie. Yay, that about 1:30 of my 15 minutes already used up.

Bobbles:

Pablo get eaten up at the hot corner

Daigle is killing me, he always comes in late and blows meaningless games, which I don’t really care about, but it makes the game drag on and on! “Dude… You forgot the ball”

Raj “So you got a hit….. That’s good”

Rowand ………………………..(crickets)……………………

Brandon Belt, snaps out of his “slump” with this hit. 

Kevin Frandsen is a cute puppy who wants to snuggle in your armpit. 

Here’s to you skinny Pablo

Yeah… Little Babe Ruth…… just for today. 

After hitting a ball to the fence in dead center Brandon Crawford tries to bolster his chances at the coveted KFGPA (Kevin Frandsen Memorial Golden Puppy Award)

Brutal, Brutal, Brutal.

Giants finally lose to the Braves 7-2

Screenshot of the game

Eli Whiteside Striking out looking in the 2nd (not a strike)

Eli Whiteside AGAIN in the 4th bases loaded strikes out looking (not a strike)

In the 6th, bases loaded, Eli Whiteside has to protect that outside pitch that ump has been calling all day and rolls one over to short. 

Upon further review of the game (I was cursing the name of Whiteside all the way home) Whiteside was victimized by a terrible strike zone. The home plate umpire was calling shit all night, but of course I could not see that because I sat in section 321. 

1 out of 5 Neukoms

WHAT THE FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCKING, FUCKER, FUCK ASS! 

They don’t even deserve one Neukom. Neukom is rolling in his grave….. oh wait he isn’t dead yet, but he might be after this disaster. 

It’s not like I thought they would go undefeated, I knew this was coming. But did it have to be my first live game of the year? And did we have to be soooo ugly. Here are some sad stats from today’s lose. 

2 Double Plays

9 people left on base (and that’s with 9 walks)

6 walks issued

4 wild pitches

1 Hit By Pitch

2 (could have been 4) Errors

And a Balk just for good measure

The Optimus Prime Award (hero) goes to Uribe for going 1 for 1 with THREE walks. Not bad for such a bad game. 

The Megatron Award (villan) goes to Eli Whiteside for going 0-3 in 2 consecutive bases loaded situations and 0-1 with runners on the corners stranding a grand total of 8 runners. Letting two balls get by him and noodle-arming it to 2nd base on a stolen base.

Other factors that made this night a miserable/interesting/slightly amusing night all around. 

1. Diaz’s swing in the 4th inning.

2. A missed call at first base that eventually scored

3. Two missed Double Play opportunities. 

4. A ball going off Wellemeyer’s leg

5. The weather being FUCKING FREEZING.

6. Jason Heyward getting hit in the butt by a BP fly ball when talking to the crowd before the game.

40 Giants in 37 days

Eli Whiteside

How is he going to do this year?

How good can you do with the hottest catching prospect since Matt Wieters breathing short giddy breaths down your neck and the human cork that is Bengie Molina clogging up not only the basepaths, but also cockblocking your chance at an everyday gig in the bigs. The answer is,…. not very. Besides let’s face it, Eli is just not starting material. Especially with a career .230 AVG. I’m happy that he caught a no-hitter and hit a grand slam. Here’s to the hope that the next grand slam he gets is not at Denny’s. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Do I like the guy?

Actually yes! I didn’t like Steve Holm but I really couldn’t say why. Whiteside seems like a perfect backup catcher, the gray hair makes him look like a cabbage patch doll that is wise beyond his years.

Would I hang out with him?

My money says he is a rather bland character once you get past the grey exterior. I like rooting for the guy but would probably not drink a beer with him.

Will he have an essential part on the 2010 Giants?

I’m betting that he holds onto the backup role coming out of camp. If the Giants have learned anything it’s that they should leave Posey in the minors to avoid the super-two situation that we had with Timmy. Somewhere after June Sabean will say…. “well we just can’t ignore Posey’s bat in Fresno.” And eith that, Whiteside will have to start working up for his backup role next year.