Giants Midnight Replay

40 Giants in 37 Days

Ok so there is no chance of me running down everyone on the 40 man before the season starts. I’m just gonna finish it up when I can, sorry.

Juan Uribe

How will he do this season?

That depends entirely on weather Renteria’s slump was actually caused by his elbow. If Renteria continues to roll balls to shortstop then we are going to get a chance to see Uribe. Its almost a fact that Uribe will get his chance to show his power again considering our brittle infield.

Do I like the guy?

Yup. Uribe is the original comedian in the clubhouse. I imagine this guy lighting peoples shoes on fire in the dugout.

Would I hang out with him?

While I find Uribe entertaining I also feel like hanging out with him would at some point include something life-threatening. Driving 100 mph down a freeway with Uribe screaming, laughing, and punching me in the arm, comes to mind as something I could see included in an “afternoon with Uribe.” I’ll just laugh from a distance, thanks.

Will he play an essential role on the 2010 Giants?

For sure, like I said he will be throwing bullets from either SS or 2B for at least half the year.

40 Giants in 37 days

Aaron Rowand

How will he do this year?

My friend’s girlfriend used to go to school with Rowand and told me that even back then everyone called him lunk-head.. oh god. If only Rowand could swing all that meat that was packed between his ears, maybe he could hit the steady diet of curveballs he is fed. Actually watching him swing at a curveball in the dirt might be the most aggravating thing that I have ever had to watch. WE NEED ROWAND TO HIT THIS YEAR, LIKE I NEED A BURRITO FROM PAPALOTE’S RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!

Do I like the guy?

No. For the record I have hated the contract since the beginning. ( I just tried to pull up my old blog about me hating the Rowand contract, but I just realized that that whole blog/conversation only happened in my head.)

Would I hang out with the guy?

Yes… here is the senario… I am hanging out at the bar…… I am about 6 drinks deep and getting deeper. Rowand rolls up with his posse and buys rounds for everyone. We run down the street kicking signs screaming at people……… I just realized that in a lot of my imagined scenarios where I am hanging out with Giants players we are causing hell in the streets….. what is all that about. I am trying to say…. yes, I would hang out with Rowand but only if I was REALLY drunk.

Will he play an essential part of the 2010 Giants?

I predict that he is not the leadoff hitter by the All-Star break. But his continued success in the starting lineup is absolutely essential. I can see him and Renteria making or breaking this team.

40 Giants in 37 Days (maybe)

ohhhhhhh Shrug!!! this is not working out. I have gotten through 13 Giants players and have 27 left…. I am not giving up, but I am not going to fulfill what the title of this post says. 

Barry Zito 

How will he do this year?

According to Zito, he has never been in better shape. I saw him on the tube yesterday and he did look like he lost some chub from over the winter. When he was on last year he was on. But Zito is plagued by something that plagues a lot of the Giants players…. Which is an over blown contract that makes them look bad for being what they are (average players). The key of course is the same key that Rowand and Renteria need, a solid start to the season.

Do I like the guy?

ehhh. Kinda. seems like he is having a quarter-life crisis, he seems to be lost in space like the rest of us. So in that sense I can appreciate his terrible attempts at music making. 

Would I hang out with him?

He seems like someone I could hang out with, but only as long as we were doing some activity that precluded him from talking. He seems to try really hard to present himself like some sort of model/john mayer type and his attempts are pretty obvious.

Will he play an essential role on the 2010 Giants?

Absolutely. Forget his singing Zito’s, his curveball better be 12-6 by opening day or he will once again feel the wrath of his least favorite kind of attention. I do give him credit for getting into super shape last year and this. (as I am writing this, Zito is giving up a run) uhhhh.

40 Giants in 37 Days

Aubry Huff

Photo by Keith Allison

How will he do this year?

Expectations are high this year as the Giants are holding out hope that they have found a temporary answer at 1st base. From his first swing Huff has been sending a clear message to the Giants…. That message is, “I’m a DH”. Although he hit the first pitch he saw in as a Giant for a HR, Huff continues to butcher routine plays at 1st. Ishikawa is on your ass bro!

Do I like the guy?

Hmmmm kinda. Players who do well are always more charming than those who don’t. I’m gonna give it a month or so for the “renteria” taste of this signing to wear off a little.

Would I hang out with him?

No. I’m not a snob or anything but from the interviews I’ve heard he seems like a rather humorless guy. Plus he is a millionare that drinks Coors, I mean seriously dude, grab a Sierra Nevada or something.

Will he play an essential role on the 2010 Giants?

I am still looking at him as a sort of expensive version of ishikawa. With the defensive hit we take putting him at 1st, the runs gained by his power, will even out, I think. I say we are better off with ishikawa. Let’s hope I am wrong.

40 Giants in 37 days

Kevin Frandsen

How will he do this year?

ahhhhhh goooood Frandsen……ohhhhh THATS a GOOOD Frandsen! ….. oh yes you are! yes you are! your such a good Frandsen. Come here and give me a smooooochy wooochy, my little smoochy bear! oh oh oh you little stinkie Frandsen……. YES YES you are such a silly little Frandsen! Go fetch!

Do I like the guy?

ok ok I admit it. I kinda am rooting for Kevin Frandsen….. there I said it. 

Would I hang out with him?

At Dolores Park with a frisbee, hells yes!

Will he have an essential part on the 2010 Giants.

SIT….. SIT…..nooooooo…. SIT…. ok now play dead…… ohhhhhh thats such a good Frandsen. YES YOU ARE!!!!! ooooooooohhh YES YOU ARE….. NOOOOO………. NOT YET………SIT!!!   NOW BEG!….. goooood doggie…. Fransden. 

The SF Giants breed a VERY special kind of mediocre. And if that were a prize at a dog show………… you can guess who would win. 

40 Giants in 37 days

Henry Sosa………..Who?

How will he do this year?

First and formost…. let’s have some blog honesty once and a while…… I know WHO Henry Sosa is….. I just don’t know that much about him. I know that I have heard his name for a couple of years now. I remember two years ago he seemed like he was the entirety of our farm system talent. All anyone would talk about was Henry Sosa this Henry Sosa that. Well sometimes shit just doesn’t pan out. I feel like (based on what I just looked at for two seconds) that he will have a good year, but not on the big league club.

Do I like the guy?

he has a kind of lost puppy look on his face, but other than that….. prolly.

Would I hang out with the guy?

My guess is he would not want to hang out with me.

Will he have an essential role on the 2010 Giants?

Nope. While he might make it up late in the season as a call up, I say that he plays out his year at Connecticut double-A with the chance he makes it up to Fresno late this year or next year. Good luck buddy.

40 Giants in 37 days

Returning to the daily grind. Running through all 40 Giants on the 40 man roster and trying to project how they will do this year.

Matt Cain

How will he do this year?

The only thing that keeps Bobby King Matty from being an ace is Professor Snape that little skeleton of a boy Timmy. Last year was supposed to be his break out year and in a “sfgiants” sort-of-way, it was. Blah blah blah statistics blah blah, too bad he’s a Giants, blah blah blah, run support, blah blah blah. Aaanyways. My projections are that Matt turns in another solid year and (at the risk of sounding like I did last year) barring an unexpected jump in run support should get around 14 wins. Let’s cross our fingers.

Do I like the guy?

I have loved “The Thumb”, or “Thumby” since he cracked the bigs. I was in the bleachers when he took a no-hit bid pretty deep (into the 7th, or 8th?? i forget) against the Angels in 2006.

Would I hang out with him?

If his wife wouldn’t mind. I bet Cain needs to get out of the house every once in a while in the off season and blow off some steam. I heard he lives in Noe Valley, so it’s not too much to expect for him to meet me at The Phone Booth on 25th & South Van Ness to down a couple of rounds and maybe punch some car windows in on the way back.

Will he have an essential part on the 2010 Giants?

Yes. If he doesn’t we are doomed.

40 Giants in 37 days

We continue our discussion of how everyone on the 40 will do this year and why I probably don’t like them.

Freddy Sanchez

How will he do this year?

With the rise of advanced statistics there had to be something that lost it’s value. I feel like of the three triple crown categories, Batting Average has become the least valuable. Unfortunately that is the part of the triple crown that Sanchez has won before. Having a +.300 AVG is not exactly the sexiest stat anymore just ask Randy Winn. Although it will be nice to have a solid average at 2B, he will not be hitting anything out to the cove. With all that I say that we get an “average” version of our most average asset. .300 hitter, hopefully north of .350 OBP, and we might get lucky and see 1 or 2 get over the fence.

Do I like the guy?

Why do I think of Freddy Sanchez as a total nerd? Have I seen him in a pair of glasses ever? He also gets point in my book for coming up with the Pirates. Thee WORST team ever. I have a soft spot for guys who seem to look out of place on a baseball field. I can see this guy teaching 6th grade or showing a model house on the real estate beat.

Would I hang out with him?

For sure, we could play Scrabble, watch Harry Potter, eat popcorn, and drink yoo-hoo.

Will he have an essential part in the 2010 Giants.

Most definitely, everyone in the starting lineup has to OVER-produce for us to get into the playoffs. We need your doubles hitting .300 AVG and your double play agility up the middle.

40 Giants in 37 days

John Bowker

How will he do this year?

There is a lot of talk around the twittersphere/nerdosphere about how “The Bowk” is the breakout candidate at this years camp. And beyond the fact that he reminds me of a young left handed Aaron Rowand, he just has to really fix one thing….. STOP SWINGING AT BREAKING BALLS!!!!! How Bowker does this year is directly linked to how he nervously swings at balls that scrap his ankles. I wish it was as simple as getting glasses to be able to see the seams on the ball spin a certain way. It just seems that Bowker is waving away his chance at a pretty decent career.

Do I like the guy?

If I mentioned Rowand and him in the same paragraph you can pretty much guess where I am going with this one.

Would I hang out with him?

Not unless I was at a high school party and I was a drunk chick.

Will he have an essential part on the 2010 Giants?

This depends….  I think we all have a small clue with the way he hit at AAA last year that Bam Bam fixed his swing. So it’s all about hitting bomb after bomb in spring training to show the coaches that it’s for real this time. Personally I think he could be huge for us this year. Unfortunately he smells a bit too much like Fransen/Linden/Ortimeier that he will probably get passes up. I predict he hits 20+ HRs……… for a different team.

40 Giants in 37 days

Eli Whiteside

How is he going to do this year?

How good can you do with the hottest catching prospect since Matt Wieters breathing short giddy breaths down your neck and the human cork that is Bengie Molina clogging up not only the basepaths, but also cockblocking your chance at an everyday gig in the bigs. The answer is,…. not very. Besides let’s face it, Eli is just not starting material. Especially with a career .230 AVG. I’m happy that he caught a no-hitter and hit a grand slam. Here’s to the hope that the next grand slam he gets is not at Denny’s. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Do I like the guy?

Actually yes! I didn’t like Steve Holm but I really couldn’t say why. Whiteside seems like a perfect backup catcher, the gray hair makes him look like a cabbage patch doll that is wise beyond his years.

Would I hang out with him?

My money says he is a rather bland character once you get past the grey exterior. I like rooting for the guy but would probably not drink a beer with him.

Will he have an essential part on the 2010 Giants?

I’m betting that he holds onto the backup role coming out of camp. If the Giants have learned anything it’s that they should leave Posey in the minors to avoid the super-two situation that we had with Timmy. Somewhere after June Sabean will say…. “well we just can’t ignore Posey’s bat in Fresno.” And eith that, Whiteside will have to start working up for his backup role next year.